The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Donald Trump has received yet another set back today from fellow toupee wearers, who have denounced the would be oligarch come wig sporting statesman as an extremist. “Most of us simply put our toupees on in the mornings, adjust them a bit in our lunch breaks and go home to our families in the evenings. […]
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has pleaded for the world to join hands and assist him in the creation of a peaceful loving world, brought about through overt racism and endemic firearm use. Known in the USA as Donald Trumpety-Trump, the toupeed statesman who inherited his fortune, said “If everyone can just look into their […]
Prime Minister David Cameron has made an impassioned plea to all MPs to think of year on year growth in the arms sector before voting for any options other than the indiscriminate bombing of Syria. Any move not involving blanket bombing the few remaining bits of Syria that have not already been bombed, he argued, […]
Britain is to bomb all countries that have venomous snakes in order to stop them biting people once and for all according to Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking to a a packed press conference outside a COBRA meeting the premier said “We’re only going to be bombing countries that have these dangerous serpents. It’s the […]
George Bush Senior, the 41st President of the United States, has lambasted his son in his new biography which complains that George W Bush Junior only spent a mere half to three quarters of his presidency bombing the absolute fuck out of the middle east. “If he’d just gotten himself out of bed and started […]
Volkswagen have been forced to admit that rather than using petrol or diesel their cars in fact run off the tears of dying baby seals, torn from their natural habitat by its ecological destruction, again caused by Volkswagen cars. The firm’s board will talk to regulators about the consequences of its discovery, the firm said […]
Australians throughout Australia are thought to have spent the day largely sitting around in their underpants drinking tinnies, following revelations that none of them are now going to be knights or dames even if they pull their fingers out and don’t spend the day sitting around in their underpants drinking tinnies. One Australian, who had […]
The Vatican is to organise it’s own Gay Pride march later this year as part of the Catholic church’s new policy of inclusivity and celebrating diversity. Speaking to a supportive congregation, Pope Francis said “Historically we like our priests to be sexually repressed and frustrated because they don’t have sex with the opposite sex rather […]
The Catholic church have asked God to ruddy well pull his socks up and stop making gays, as the synod on family issues opens this morning. A spokesman for the Vatican said that God was being irresponsible and according to the esteemed book of Leviticus would risk being severely punished by himself. “If he insists […]
Native Americans are celebrating today following Republican leadership hopeful Donald Trump’s assurances that should he become President then all immigrants and descendants of immigrants including himself will be sent back to their own countries. Mr Trump, full name Donald Trumpety-Trump said “Who do you trust to kick out all immigrants including myself. Trump! And you […]
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