The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
A Conservative party candidate has been caught on camera openly admitting that none of us are any more important than the other no matter what our race, social class or political leanings, and rather than pursing wealth at all costs to the detriment of others we should in fact work together and ensure equality for […]
Wobbly eyed right wingers UKIP are said to be in turmoil today following the suspension of a number of their candidates for scrumping. The suspensions which are separate to any police investigations came about after complaints from a number of village garden owners, sick of constantly having to chase UKIP members away from their fruit […]
Drinkers throughout the UK have reacted with pure unbridled joy at the news that a pint of Peroni in their local chain pub will now be reduced from £4.58 to £4.57 after Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne announced a reduction of a whole penny per pint in beer duty as part of today’s budget. […]
Judges have been ordered to limit their pornographic titillation to underwear catalogues whilst in work time, according to tough new rules announced today. Justice Secretary Chris Grayling said that whilst judges, clerks and senior court officials should not be seen to be self pleasuring like over sexed chimps on her majesty’s wifi, a complete ban […]
Employers will be legally able to deny jobs to foreigners, women, lefties and gay people in favour of goose stepping shaven headed nationalists adorned in full nazi regalia, should UKIP hold the balance of power following May’s General Election according to leader Nigel Farage. Speaking in an interview on popular radio station Common Sense FM, […]
Jeremy Clarkson is thought to be seriously considering a job in South America after a petition signed by almost 500,000 people, all Argentinians, has asked for him to go over and present his unique blend of jingoistic banter and motoring information over there. President of Argentina and self confessed Anglophile Cristina Fernández de Kirchner said […]
Nigerian militant group Boko Haram has pledged allegiance to 1990s electronic music band 808 State , according to an audio statement released this morning. The message, which has not been verified, was posted on Boko Haram’s Twitter account and is believed to be by the group’s leader, Abubakar Shekau who said: “We pledge to enhance […]
The National Association of Burglars has today come out in full support of Government plans to cut funding for all forces by 5% over the next 5 years. A spokesman for the Association said that the last thing today’s burglar needed was constant interference from a police officer who is often completely out of touch […]
The Conservative plan to send an empty chair to the forthcoming political debates between seven parties is looking to have worked in their favour today, as already, several weeks before their commencement the chair is leading dramatically in the polls. One member of the public told us that whilst he generally voted labour, he would […]
David Cameron has confirmed that senior Tories, cabinet ministers and party donors are not at all shitting it over today’s raids on the Geneva subsidiary of HSBC bank. “You can rest assured that neither this nor any future raids are going to turn up any sort of impropriety whatsoever. And if anyone we know just […]
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