The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The Government has today responded to public dissatisfaction with rail increases with a clear message. “Don’t worry about tickets, you can just bunk the train.” Speaking at this morning’s press conference Transport Secretary Patrick McLoughlin, who sets the rules on fares, said “I know I’ve given the OK for higher ticket prices but now it’s all […]
His Royal Highness Prince Charles has today urged the public to ignore scientifically proven cures for illnesses and instead rely on sugar pills soaked with water, that may have been in the same jug as some water that may have touched an ingredient which is not proven in anyway to cure the affliction in question. […]
Residents of Birmingham and the surrounding provinces have been awarded a Government grant for a new accent as part of a new initiative announced today by Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne. Speaking at a this morning’s press conference Mr Osborne told us “We all know that times are hard but we need a high […]
In yet another setback to the Government’s attempts to extradite beard sporting extremist Abu Qatada, the Court of Appeal has today refused the Government permission to take its fight to the supreme court, concluding that he must be treated in exactly the same way as hairy American rockers ZZ Top. Citing reasons that the Jordanian Government […]
David Cameron has announced a minimum price on a bag of cocaine as part of tough new measures designed to keep class A drug use for birthdays, bank holidays and other special occasions. Speaking at a press conference the Premier told us “We’ve decided that people should be allowed to drink as much alcohol as […]
The new flat rate state pension has been formulated with the sole objective of keeping old people out of restaurants, according to leaked e-mails between Prime Minister David Cameron and Secretary of State for Work and Pensions Iain Duncan Smith. As part of a controversial plan to ‘hide the over 60s’ the correspondence details plans […]
Alex Jones, creator of the ‘Deport Piers Morgan’ petition, has told Piers Morgan that he and his supporters would only give up their gun ownership in return for special spider powers. “I don’t care about your little factoids” he told Mr Morgan on his CNN show when being confronted with gun death statistics “The Roman […]
Unhealthy foods that appeal to children should have a minimum level of swearing on the packaging to discourage parents from buying them for their children, according to Shadow Health Secretary Andy Burnham. Labour will today propose new legal limits on levels of fat, sugar and salt that can be present in childrens food, before covering […]
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