The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Nigel Farage has expressed “regret” for controversial remarks he made about Romanians, explaining that such things often happen if he has been eating cheese. “Look it wasn’t really me. It was the cheese talking. I was hungry. Someone offered me a lump of cheddar and the next thing I know I’m spouting nonsense about how […]
UKIP leader Nigel Farage is said to be incensed yet vindicated as the news broke this morning that overnight a Romanian family moved into his arse. Speaking on Andrew Neil’s political chat show ‘Afternoon Bollocks’ where he broke traditional chat show protocol by refusing to sit down, Mr Farage explained “I think they’re Romanian anyway. […]
Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has today urged party activists to start swearing like troopers as he launched the party’s campaign for the English local elections. “We’re not simply a protest vote. We’re the only party you can rely on to break up our otherwise dull manifesto with a liberal sprinkling of profanity along the […]
Nigel Farage stands accused of stealing an egg from an unsuspecting member of the public in what appears to be an entirely unprovoked act of theft. The protester known only as Fred from Nottingham told us “Just because that Farage is famous he thinks he’s above the law. Alright, I might have thrown the egg […]
Former Olympic silver medallist Roger Black has been told to go back to his own country by UKIP candidates in yet another seemingly racially prejudiced gaffe by the one trick pony jingoistic bandwagon political group. UKIP candidate Rozane Duncan said “We accept he was born here, went to school here and won Britain several medals […]
The political landscape is thought to have changed significantly and irreversibly today after UKIP leader Nigel Farage took a break from jingoistic knee-jerk ranting and instead arranged to have a bus driven into Portsmouth and Southsea railway station. Speaking from the wreckage to his own press officers and a handful of Portsmouth locals Mr Farage […]
A yes vote in a future referendum to stay in Europe could mean 26 million Europeans arriving at our shores with the sole intention of having a good look at your bum, according to United Kingdom Independence Party leader Nigel Farage. “There’s 26 million Europeans roaming the continent with the prime intention of looking at […]
Following his appointment this morning after the shock resignation of Maria Miller, the former Financial Secretary to the Treasury Sajid Javid has been defending his position to critics who say he should resign amidst accusations of stealing from the treasury, lying to the press and strangling a cat. One parliamentary insider told us “The writings […]
Smokers throughout the country are today celebrating the Government’s decision to remove branding from cigarettes, making it impossible to distinguish which brand you have, and thus making smoking more unpredictable and exciting. One smoker in Australia which legislated to make smoking more fun 2 years ago explained “Life used to be so bloody predictable when […]
Britain must shut it’s borders indefinitely and let British people interbreed until they all grow at least one extra finger according to UKIP leader Nigel Farage. Speaking this evening during his debate on Europe with Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg, Mr Farage told us “We need to shut the ports, close the airports and fester […]
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