The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The Ku Klux Klan is to finally let black people become fully fledged members as long as they are prepared to wear silly hats, according to the press release issued today from the organisation. Appearing on the organisation’s website the message read “We’re all descended from immigrants anyway so we realised the futility in our […]
The French must apologise for their behaviour during the battle of Agincourt in the 15th Century, make a pledge to stop eating long bread and desist from saying aw-he-haw-he-haw according to London Mayor, Brexit campaigner and would be Prime Minister Boris Johnson. “We may have won the bloody battle but there were loads more on […]
The Pope should stick to being a Muslim and stop criticising megalomaniac gun toting Christians, according to goose stepping presidential hopeful Donald Trump. Responding to the Pope’s argument that building a huge wall between USA and Mexico might be divisive and even unchristian, Mr Trump said he was not prepared to have his religion criticised […]
David Cameron has convinced other European countries to start driving on the left, as part of a new deal in the EU that includes other member states having eggs and bacon for breakfast and speaking English amongst themselves. Beaming proudly, a victorious Mr Cameron said “We want Britain to stay in the EU as a […]
The Republican party are today appealing for new presidential hopefuls following an incident earlier where all existing candidates shot each other. Front-runner Donald Trump repeatedly tangled with Texas Senator Ted Cruz and former Florida Governor Jeb Bush in a series of tense exchanges before all three began firing at each other, sporadically ducking behind their […]
The entire Catholic church is set to be put on the sex offenders register following today’s announcement from the Vatican that it’s Bishops no longer have to report cases of sexual abuse. A spokesman for the Uber rich, sexually repressed, God bothering cult said it would still be spreading its message of piety but under […]
Donald Trump supporters throughout the USA have hit back at suggestions that they are a bit simple and probably wouldn’t even find their way to the polling station on election day, should Mr Trump be a candidate for the presidency. One Trump fan told us he was furious at suggestions that the only way they […]
Commiserations and messages of sympathy have been coming in thick and fast from around the music industry today, following reports that Rapper B.o.B sadly fell off the edge of the earth in an attempt to prove to the scientific world that the earth was indeed flat, and that you could fall off it. “Obviously it’s […]
Prospective Republican candidate for the presidency Donald Trump has said that he would leave the country in the event that he became President of the USA. Also known as Donald Trumpety-Trump the famous tycoon who inherited his wealth told a press conference that his refusal to endorse gun controls, and his habit of blaming the […]
Newly discovered Planet 9 can fuck off back to its own solar system and stop enjoying a free orbit around our sun according to right wing astronomers. “I’ve just taught my kids the solar system, dutifully missing out Pluto now that isn’t a planet any more. I thought I was doing the right thing. And […]
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