The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
David Cameron has announced tough new measures against non-Britishness in schools which will involve a new Ofsted task force headed by the Duke of Edinburgh Prince Philip. Speaking at a hastily assembled press conference the Prime Minister explained “Segregating pupils and force feeding religious ideology is completely unacceptable in our schools. OK, the school I […]
Michael Gove has this afternoon strenuously denied reports that he is being gradually eaten alive by Home Secretary Theresa May. Speaking on Andrew Neil’s political chat show ‘Afternoon Bollocks’ the Education Secretary explained “Theresa is a superb Home secretary. Fantastic. First rate. Top hole. And frankly anyone who thinks she is slowly and methodically eating […]
Deputy Prime Minister and Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has made an impassioned plea for the return of his lost supporters in time for the European and Local elections by offering a free beaver for every voter. Seen by some as a risky ploy which if not successful could be referred to in the future […]
The United Kingdom will change it’s name to Scotland in the event of a win for the “yes to independence” vote, according to Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking from the other side of bullet proof glass and wearing flame retardant trousers, Mr Cameron told a packed Glasgow press conference “We’ll be calling England Scotland, Wales […]
Former 1990s bland songsmith Gary Barlow has again been criticised today as evidence has emerged that he entered into an OBE giving back avoidance scheme, a scheme so complex that it managed to sidestep all OBE giving back laws and protocol, resulting in the scenario that he still has one. A parliamentary insider explained that […]
Prime Minister David Cameron has this morning revealed that he actually worships a number of different Gods depending on who he is talking to, what policies he is trying to implement and what mood he is in at the time. Under fire for previously categorising Britain as a solely Christian country, the Premier told us: […]
Prime Minister David Cameron has urged the public to follow him in his crusade to stand up for Christianity, apart from the bit about feeding poor people. “We’re all for dressing up in funny costumes, singing dull songs on a Sunday morning and being pious. Coupled with that we can use our new found religious […]
Alex Salmond has suffered his biggest blow so far in his campaign for the yes vote in the ‘Should Scotland be an independent country?’ with this morning’s news that all attractive large breasted women will leave Scotland en masse. Speaking at a hastily assembled press conference, Prime Minister David Cameron explained “I am told by […]
David Cameron has warned the people of Scotland that even if they achieve independence from the United Kingdom then they’ll still ultimately be run by rich people who look like horses. Speaking from outside his travelling cabinet meeting now situated in Aberdeen, the Prime Minister warned “They own most of the land, most of the […]
Prime Minister David Cameron has reassured flood victims throughout the country with the simple message “It’s ok. I’m nice and warm.” Having emerged from this evenings COBRA meeting Mr Cameron reassured a packed press conference “The flooding has been a tragedy for all those affected. But don’t let the thought of me being cold and […]
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