The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
UKIP have vowed that if they get into power they will turn the entire Island of Thanet into an all inclusive resort where where everyone pays in advance and gets served up regular meals of sausage and mash, chicken and chips and watered down beer. UKIP leader and parliamentary candidate for Thanet Nigel Farage said […]
UKIP leader Nigel Farage is said to be shocked, outraged and appalled following revelations that British chocolate maker Cadbury have chosen to make their popular creme eggs to a strict halal recipe. Speaking to a packed press conference Mr Farage said “Quite frankly I’m shocked, outraged and appalled. I used to love a creme egg […]
The Times have awarded their esteemed title of Briton of the year to an overweight racist lady shopping in her pyjamas accompanied by a pit bull terrier. On hearing the news and finding out it wouldn’t affect her benefits Tracy Garlic from Buckland in Portsmouth was said to be absolutely delighted that the award had […]
UKIP membership can constitute a disability in certain circumstances according to a ruling today by EU’s highest court. The European Court of Justice was asked to consider the case of a rather bigoted English male and UKIP voter who says he was sacked on the ambiguous technicality of being an immense twat, having refused to […]
Former fascist dictator of Italy Benito Mussolini has resigned as a UKIP parliamentary candidate following claims that he is dead, ineligible to vote in Britain and allegedly voiced extreme right wing views during his time as Prime Minister of Italy between 1922 and 1943. Lifetime UKIP leader Nigel Farage denied that the party was facing […]
Conservative MP for Rochester Mark Reckless has announced this evening that he is to defect back to the Conservative Party, having set the record straight, ruffled the feathers of the establishment and rocked the boat. “I’m being blown from one metaphorical borderline racist tree to another like a leaf in the wind” he explained. “But […]
A European Court of Justice ruling backing Germany’s attempts to restrict unemployed migrants’ rights to welfare has been criticised for leaving UKIP supporters with nothing to talk to each other about. Whilst some UKIPers it is thought have been easily able to make the transition and start talking about other things that might interest them, […]
German Chancellor Angela Merkel has told David Cameron in no uncertain terms that whether the UK remains in the EU or not she will exercise her right to stick her index finger up his arse, most probably when he least expects it. “Whether Britain leaves the EU or not I have my index finger primed […]
The UKIP Calypso song has reached number one in Jamaica, Trinidad and Barbados leaving critics of UKIP red faced following accusations of racism. The song is written and sung by former Saturday Superstore presenter Mike Read who told us “I’m white. But I’ve made myself sound like a black man. Not one of those new […]
The United Kingdom Independence Party will fill the English Channel with crocodiles in an effort to combat immigration should they be voted into Government or become part of a coalition. Speaking at a Press Conference UKIP’s MP for Clacton-on-Sea Douglas Carswell said “We’re basically surrounded by a huge moat but it’s still not stopping people […]
News Toad 
You must be logged in to post a comment.