The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Rapper Snoop Dogg has denied any involvement at all in the Government’s proposed Snoopers charter. Angrily addressing a hastily arranged press conference, Mr Dogg was clearly buckling under the scrutiny when he said “For the Iast time I have not got a damn ting ta do wit dis mothafuckas” One onlooker said “Well he would […]
The home secretary Theresa May has vowed that the Government will “systematically confront and challenge extremist ideology” as she detailed new curbs on “all those who spread hate, except us.” Speaking to a packed press conference Mrs May said “It’s absolutely fine for us to demonize immigrants, poor people, single mothers and the sick and […]
Beaches throughout Great Britain are set to become chargeable as part of new reforms announced today by Home Secretary Theresa May. The charges which are thought to be set at £8 per person per day, or £11 if you want to go in the sea, will come in to place in August and will be […]
1960’s TV desert island castaways the Swiss Family Robinson are understood to have crossed the border in to Syria, in an alarming trend of fictional characters from the west leaving their relatively safe plot lines to join Islamic State. One expert told us that whilst the reasons for their trip were largely unknown he was […]
Grass roots conservative campaigners have hailed the Government’s announcement to bring back National service as a victory for common sense, one that will finally herald a welcome return to how things used to be. The news comes after the Conservatives failed to pass a law to “String them all up” blaming meddling from Europe and […]
The National Association of Burglars has today come out in full support of Government plans to cut funding for all forces by 5% over the next 5 years. A spokesman for the Association said that the last thing today’s burglar needed was constant interference from a police officer who is often completely out of touch […]
The Government have announced plans to launch an inquiry into all Government inquiries in an effort to ascertain why all recent inquiries, especially ones regarding possible criminality of politicians, never seem to end or if they do never come to any logical conclusion. A spokesman for the new inquiry said “All inquiries such as Parliamentary […]
Radical muslim cleric Abu Qatada is in the process of boarding a plane after a not guilty verdict in Jordan means that he is free to carry on his life back in Britain. Thought to be flying first class at the Home Office’s expense sources close to Mr Qatada say that he is looking forward […]
Police officers will be expected to top up their wages with bribes for ‘drawing a blind eye’, according to Home Secretary Theresa May, as the Government announce plans to reduce the starting salary of a Police Constable by 20%. Speaking at press conference this morning, the Home Secretary told us “On a recent trip to […]
Do you like icebergs? Cacti? Foreign languages? Paté? Well emigrating may well be the answer according to a new Government think tank who are recommending a drive to lessen net immigration figures, by asking indigenous Brits to move out for a while to make a little more room. Home secretary Theresa May explained “We can’t stop […]
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