The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Former Prime Minister Tony Blair is reportedly having a wank in a big pile of bombs and fast approaching his vinegar strokes. Speaking from outside one of Mr Blair’s homes, where he is reportedly locked in the khasi along with a stash of missiles, a portable TV and a multi-pack of Andrex, a close confidante […]
Prime Minister David Cameron has made an impassioned plea to all MPs to think of year on year growth in the arms sector before voting for any options other than the indiscriminate bombing of Syria. Any move not involving blanket bombing the few remaining bits of Syria that have not already been bombed, he argued, […]
A racist bloke in an office is still going for it like a trooper, two full working days after the Paris shootings and showing no signs of giving it a rest, according to reports from workmates. Feeling sufficiently vindicated by recent events to continue wittering on indefinitely, Mr Daley Mayall, of ‘We sell any car’ […]
Rebekah Brookes, Editor in chief of popular newspaper The Sun, has said that she is ‘mystified’ at the failure of the paper’s online publication, which charged prospective readers £2 a week to look at womens’ breasts on the internet as well as misinformed knee-jerk opinions on current affairs. Ms Brookes who was responding to a […]
A family from Woking Surrey have told of their shock and disappointment after being refused social housing for being “too English”. Janet and John White say they were told in no uncertain terms that had they been born and grown up in a Mediterranean country then they would have had a far greater chance of […]
Jeremy Corbyn will pass legislation that requires people to pay ten pounds every time they say yah, should he get into power. Speaking on the Andrew Marr show Mr Corbyn said “We’re mainly concerned with people in the city. Everyone will need to register their details and £10 will be debited from their account every […]
Members of the public concerned about any possible link between former Prime Minister Edward Heath and any alleged child abuse scandal have had their minds set to rest today as all witnesses concerned have now confirmed that none of it happened and everything is in fact all right. One former witness who had promised to […]
America is to up its game in it’s war against wild animals in Africa and launch a series of air strikes according to a statement from the White House issued this morning. “We’ve had to rely on brave men and women who go out and shoot these animals, armed only with jeeps, high powered assault […]
Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith is to get his own show as part of tough new stipulations on the BBC announced today. The Government has denied that it will be directly commissioning programmes but has insisted that certain impartial Government ministers be employed to host a handful of popular shows as a caveat […]
All social housing is set to be refitted with lower ceilings as part of a new Government scheme to fit more people in a block of flats. The ambitious scheme was defended this morning on the Andrew Marr show by George Osborne who explained: “In days of yore people were shorter, mainly due to poor […]
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