Donald Trump is to travel down the Mall to meet the Queen in a giant golden penis after an aide mistakenly requested a golden under-carriage for the procession.
God wants you to have diabetes
April 13, 2017 by Leave a Comment
God wants you to have diabetes and he shows this by sending us his only rabbit, laden with mass produced chocolates, made by faceless corporations, according to Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby.
David Moyes “Women should stop getting their knickers in a twist”
April 3, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Women should stop getting their knickers in a twist and make everyone a cup of tea according to Sunderland boss David Moyes.
Independent Scotland to govern Gibraltar
April 2, 2017 by Leave a Comment
An independent Scotland could govern Gibraltar thus allowing both to remain in Europe according to Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon.
“You’re on your own now” says every single economist ever
March 29, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Every single economist and financial analyst ever has wished Britain the best of luck in it’s exit from the single market, but has ruled out sticking around to watch it happen. A spokesman for credit rating agency Standard and Poors said “I’ve been warning against a clusterfuck of a recession for years and now its […]
Islamic State claim responsibility for BMW drivers
March 27, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Islamic State have today claimed responsibility for a spate of BMW drivers driving aggressively and erratically cutting up other road users and getting points on their licenses.
UKIP to change name to United Kingdom No MP Party (UKNOMP)
March 25, 2017 by Leave a Comment
UKIP is to change its name to the United Kingdom No MP party or UKNOMP according to leader Paul Nuttall.
Brighton Council to ban wind chimes
March 20, 2017 by 1 Comment
Brighton Council is to issue on the spot fines for residents who have wind chimes in their gardens, as part of a crack down on anti-social behaviour.
Elephants listening in on Donald Trump with their huge flappy ears
March 17, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Elephants have been listening in on Donald Trump with their huge flappy ears and most likely handing the information to Barack Obama, the media or British Intelligence, according to tweets published by Mr Trump earlier this morning.
“Now not the time for independence vote” Theresa May tells America
March 16, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Theresa May has rejected calls for the USA to hold a referendum regarding independence from Britain today saying “now is not the time.”
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