The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The Conservatives are hoping that everyone forgets about Iain Duncan Smith until at least Friday according to a secret report leaked this afternoon by Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg. Speaking to John Humphreys on the today programme Mr Clegg said “I’m not one for tittle tattle but I was told in private that the Tories […]
Russell Brand has changed his mind and appealed to the public not to vote. Speaking eloquently through the medium of the English language Mr Brand said “I revert forthwith to my original stance. Forsooth I mistook the emotions I experienced after meeting Ed Miliband for a desire to vote for him and persuade my less […]
The British public have spent the night en masse waking up every two hours or so in empathy with the Royal couple who have spent the first night at home with the Royal baby. Some it’s thought set their own alarms whilst in some areas entire towns relied on former WWII air raid sirens to […]
Nigel Farage has spoken today of his fury at left wing town criers who, despite not being around very much these days, are most likely pursuing some sort of Guardianista agenda and need to be banned. Speaking to a heaving press conference sadly populated by left wing journalists who were probably hand picked by the […]
David Cameron has reportedly been seen leaving Jim Davidson’s house sparking rumours that he may be wooing the support of the popular comedian. The support of the veteran comedian whose popularity means that he regularly fills provincial town halls and civic centres, holds such power amongst middle England that a thumbs up from him could […]
Nigel Farage has promised that a UKIP Government will reverse the recent decision to make St Paul’s cathedral half mosque, following plans that deem it to be a mosque 50% of the time and an Anglican church the other 50%. Speaking from outside St Pauls an angry Mr Farage said “It doesn’t look like a […]
The General Election took an unexpected turn this morning when aspiring Conservative leader Boris Johnson told all floating voters that a vote for his party would mean free drugs. Speaking this morning on the Andrew Marr show where he was vying with Labour Leader Ed Miliband for the best vote winning policies Mr Johnson said […]
HSBC are considering moving to a different country where it can do whatever the fuck it likes, as opposed to being more regulated, having to pay more tax and exhibit evidence of some sort of social conscience. The move follows plans announced in the budget to increase the bank levy. A spokesman for the bank […]
Blue Peter viewers have voted to name the imminent new Royal baby ‘Motorbike’, as the results have come in from one of the most successful nationwide competitions ever run by the show. The show was previously facing tough scrutiny from regulators after a similar competition to name one of the show’s cats ended up in […]
Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg has welcomed the party’s latest celebrity endorsement in the form of the bloke out of 1990s super band Babylon Zoo who has come out of apparent obscurity to swear his full allegiance. Speaking from the Lib Dem tour bus, the star told a packed crowd “I had a hit once, […]
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