Theresa May will still be Prime Minister by Christmas and may even remain in power for longer than Donald Trump according to party insiders.
Weak and pissy lager in weaker and pissier than advertised shocker
August 26, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Weak and pissy lager giant Carling has apologised following revelations that their weak and pissy lager is actually weaker and pissier than advertised, shocking all but people who have ever tried it.
Trump “Sunny days to blame for devastation too”
August 26, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Nice weather and sunny days must take their share of the blame for devastation across America caused by “many types of weather” according to US president Donald Trump.
Brexiters celebrate by buying one beer between them in Spain
August 23, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Some Brexiters on holiday in Spain have celebrated getting their country back by clubbing together for a glass of beer and four straws it has emerged today.
Isle of Wight residents boycott Asda after new bags read “Isle of Shite”
August 22, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Isle of Wight residents are threatening to boycott the new Asda superstore after their new bags for life were found to read “Isle of Shite”.
Hawking blames fault in voice simulator as Health secretary called Jeremy Cunt
August 19, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Professor Stephen Hawking has blamed a fault in the software on his voice simulator after he appeared to refer to the Secretary of State for Health as Jeremy Cunt.
“Many people have impurities in their arses” David Wolfe warns
August 13, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Much of the western world is suffering with impurities in their arses, caused by modern living and conventional science, according to alternative medicine advocate David Wolfe.
Trump threatens North Korea with Fire and Phooey
August 12, 2017 by Leave a Comment
China has appealed for calm this morning as US President Donald Trump has threatened to match any North Korean aggression with fire and Hong Kong Phooey.
Man sacked following revelations he never attended the school of hard knocks
August 9, 2017 by Leave a Comment
A man has been sacked with immediate effect following the discovery that he never actually attended the University of life or the school of hard knocks as claimed in his interview.
Overweight maniacal despot with nuclear weapons threatens Kim Jong-Un
August 9, 2017 by Leave a Comment
North Korean President Kim Jong-un has appealed for United Nations support in dealing with a rogue overweight despot who terrifyingly now has access to nuclear weapons.
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