The band Coldplay were reportedly not even ill last night let alone on death’s door according to sources close to the band.
Disappointment as super-injunction possibly just about Elton John’s stupid sex life
April 16, 2016 by 3 Comments
The British public have today aired their mass disappointment that according to some people on twitter the great big celebrity super-injunction that has been in the news for weeks might just be about Elton John and his stupid sex life. One person thriving on unfounded rumour said “We don’t know if it is or it […]
Farage “Europeans enjoying free foreign holidays”
April 15, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Europeans are enjoying free foreign holidays at our expense according to UKIP leader Nigel Farage.
Osborne “I do not benefit personally from being rich”
April 12, 2016 by Leave a Comment
George Osborne has assured critics that he does not benefit in any way from being rich. “I may have lowered the top rate of tax in 2012 to increase my own net income but I can assure you that I don’t get any advantage from that. “It just passes through my bank account. Some of […]
Farage “Immigrants stole my tax returns”
April 11, 2016 by 1 Comment
Immigrants have stolen Nigel Farage’s tax returns leaving him unable to publish them according to a statement issued today by the UKIP leader.
Channel tunnel to be made one-way following Brexit
April 10, 2016 by 7 Comments
The channel tunnel will be made one way so trains will only travel from England to France in the event of any exit from the European Union according to Justice Secretary Michael Gove. Speaking on this morning’s episode of the Marr show, Mr Gove said “It only goes both ways now because of European bureaucrats […]
Furious Gary Barlow demands explanation from PM over tax affairs
April 9, 2016 by Leave a Comment
An incandescent with rage Gary Barlow has gone on record to demand and a full and frank explanation of David Cameron’s tax affairs.
David Cameron to head tax evasion inquiry
April 5, 2016 by 2 Comments
David Cameron has promised to head a new inquiry into tax evasion, starting tomorrow or maybe the day after, at the latest in the next week or so.
Trump would bomb Narnia
April 1, 2016 by 4 Comments
Donald Trump has said that he would not rule out bombing Narnia, should he succeed in becoming US president.
Javid “I can’t save the steel industry. I’m washing my hair.”
March 30, 2016 by 4 Comments
Business Secretary Sajid Javid has said that he will sadly be unable to promise nationalisation of the Port Talbot steel works in Wales, as he is too busy washing his hair.
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