The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
United Kingdom Independence Party leader Nigel Farage has today announced a renaming of his party to “United Kingdom Under Neath the Tweed” or UKUNT until September’s referendum on Scottish independence with a possible view of changing it back again in the event of a “no” vote. Speaking on Andrew Neil’s weekday political show ‘Afternoon Bollocks’ […]
Alex Salmond has suffered his biggest blow so far in his campaign for the yes vote in the ‘Should Scotland be an independent country?’ with this morning’s news that all attractive large breasted women will leave Scotland en masse. Speaking at a hastily assembled press conference, Prime Minister David Cameron explained “I am told by […]
The Egyptian Government have today confirmed that it’s military have achieved a scientific breakthrough in finding a cure for absolutely everything. The claims that in no way have anything to do with the upcoming Presidential elections have been hailed by army’s chief Field Marshal Abdul Fattah al-Sisi as the greatest breakthrough in modern human history, which […]
The celebrity and fashion world have been rocked to their core today as it has transpired that some bird wore some dress to some event or other at some point in the last few days. The lady in question, who likes to sing some songs, wore a dress made from some different materials stitched in […]
David Cameron has warned the people of Scotland that even if they achieve independence from the United Kingdom then they’ll still ultimately be run by rich people who look like horses. Speaking from outside his travelling cabinet meeting now situated in Aberdeen, the Prime Minister warned “They own most of the land, most of the […]
One time Radio One DJ Chris Moyles has attempted to avoid over £1 million in tax by pretending to be a 09 plate Ford Focus according to a Customs and Excise tribunal. Moyles attempted to use a tax avoidance scheme called Working Wheels, which involved him telling HM Revenue & Customs he had spent a […]
Russia has confirmed that it will not be breaking with Olympic tradition and will be marking the end of the Winter Olympics at Sochi by using all the snow to make a giant gay snowman. Russian President Vlamir Putin explained that the snowman would be bigger that the 150 foot gay snowman built at the […]
Tony Blair gave his special ‘lucky pants’ to newspaper executive Rebekah Brooks to try and swing the odds in her favour just days before her arrest in connection with the phone hacking scandal, a court has heard. In an email to James Murdoch, the then News International executive chairman Brooks recounted the key points of […]
A solely Conservative Government will distance itself from the European Court of Human Rights and send everybody to prison, a party spokesman has confirmed this morning. Speaking to Andrew Neil on his weekday political show “Afternoon bollocks” the Home Secretary Theresa May explained: “Bang them up until they get used to it and it becomes […]
Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has signalled that the Lib Dems may go into Coalition with an independent Scotland depending on the results of September’s referendum. “They’ll need our moderating influence, otherwise they’ll just be far too Scottish. They need us.” Mr Clegg has already ruffled feathers within the Lib Dems by not only changing […]
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