The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Every single person from the north of England is responsible for the next recession according to Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking to Parliament following his return from the G20 summit Mr Cameron said “The last recession was finally brought to an end by us, in a rather heroic fashion if I may say so, by […]
British jihadists who travel abroad to fight will have their UK citizenship partially revoked, restricting their access to the Isle of Wight, where they will be forced to spend an indefinite period of time watching every episode of Strictly Come Dancing as part of tough new measures announced today by Prime Minister David Cameron. “It’s […]
German Chancellor Angela Merkel has told David Cameron in no uncertain terms that whether the UK remains in the EU or not she will exercise her right to stick her index finger up his arse, most probably when he least expects it. “Whether Britain leaves the EU or not I have my index finger primed […]
The Government has strongly hinted that recreational drug use may soon be legal on the strict proviso that the drugs used are middle class drugs or at a push working class drugs that are being used by the middle classes. Speaking at a hastily assembled press conference Prime Minister David Cameron said “We can’t just […]
Prime Minister David Cameron is said to be furious at plans to spend some or all the recent EU demand for an extra £1.7 billion on a record breaking giant baguette. Speaking angrily and pointing his finger Mr Cameron said “We’re fed up of subsidising euro things. Last time it was a giant paella, the […]
Welfare Minister Lord Freud has apologised for being caught out being a vile shit as he gave his true opinions on people with disabilities. Lord Freud has promised that the views expressed that people with disabilities aren’t worth the minimum wage, were voiced under extenuating circumstances. “It was a conference fringe event where I was […]
The Green Party are being denied a voice in forthcoming television debates preceding the general election in order to save energy according to the BBC, ITV, Sky and Channel 4. A spokesman for all four channels told us “If we put them on the television, loads of people will watch it which will use more […]
Prime Minister David Cameron has promised Britain that if re-elected, a conservative government will protect the NHS until such time as they can sell off every last bit of it and make it like America. Speaking on the final day of the Conservative Party conference Mr Cameron said “I am furious that labour think that […]
Young people should become less reliant on benefits and learn to live on their trust funds according to Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking at the Conservative party conference the premier explained “We need to stop the cycle of young people leaving school and claiming benefits when they could merely tap into their trust funds like […]
David Cameron has had to endure yet another blow to his credibility this morning as news broke that 1980s rap and DJ duo Eric B and Rakim have defected to UKIP. Political expert Nick Robinson told us “They actually can’t vote themselves as they come from Long Island, New York and as far as we’re […]
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