The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The UK Independence Party have today announced that their first annual seance is to be held later on this year. Speaking from outside a meeting held today in Glastonbury, UKIP leader Nigel Farage told us “In order to respect the fact that many of our members have ties to spiritualism, angelic reiki healing and direct […]
The political world has been turned on its head this morning following revelations that David Cameron’s “Big Society” might actually have been a load of old bollocks the whole time from its inception to the present day. Bertram Onions from the Royal Society for Things that are Total Bollocks (RSFTTATB) told us “It certainly fulfils […]
The word shit has been downgraded from swearing to merely slang according to new Government measures announced this morning. Speaking to a packed press conference Prime Minister David Cameron said “I can confirm that shit is now a perfectly normal word. Shitty shit. Shit shit shitterty shit. Shit.” The move is seen as yet another […]
The Government is set to have more women to brighten the place up a bit, according to Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking on the Marr show the premier explained “We’ve been under fire for not having enough women in cabinet. And that’s obviously because we discuss politics and important men’s business. But if we’re being […]
Millions of public sector workers have today been for an organised walk with a spattering of recreational shouting in thanks to the Government for it’s austerity measures which have been widely seen as unequivocally improving the standard of living for one and all and making Britain great again. One teacher who was waving a ‘Hooray […]
After talks with Prime Minister David Cameron today, the members of 1980s boy band Take That have gone on record to urge public sector workers to call off tomorrow’s strike. Set to put an acceptable ageing boy band face to Government plans to curb all union activity, the middle aged crooners are seen as Cameron’s […]
Home Secretary Theresa May has today silenced critics accusing the Government of yet another cover up with the news that a new investigation will be headed by none other than animated canine martial arts themed law enforcer Hong Kong Phooey. Speaking to an unusually full house of MPs Mrs May explained “These are largely problems […]
MPs are set to spend “a good day or two” overtly and theatrically pretending to look for the so far elusive abuse dossier that was on a desk and then it wasn’t, according to tough new mouth play from privileged product of the establishment and Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking with a very serious look […]
A spokesman for Piers Morgan has confirmed that despite the incarceration of journalist and political strategist Andy Coulson for conspiracy to intercept voice mails, the former Daily Mirror editor come celebrity is not at all shitting his pants. Our source told us “Far from it. His pants are most definitely squeaky clean. I can personally […]
The referendum on Scottish independence looks set to be put back a year to 2015 as both sides have argued that they have not had enough time to talk about it and discuss all the issues. Scotland’s First Minister and SNP leader, Alex Salmond, explained “It’s scarcely been mentioned in the media and half of […]
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