The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Babies created from three people will have spinning round heads, a tendency to projectile vomit and an absolutely filthy vocabulary according to a spokesman for the Church of England The Reverend Brendan McCarthy, C of E adviser on medical ethics, said of the process: “We are concerned that this is being thought of as an […]
The results are in: Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh may be known for his sexist gaffes but it seems the women of Australia are more interested in what the ageing Prince has in his trousers, voting him Sexiest Man of the Year 2015. In a double-win for the geriatric Duke, the results were published only days […]
Participants in the celebrity endorsed social media advertised Dry January have already begun to form an orderly queue in order to collect their award. The award is rumoured to be a ‘fucking medal’ as many temporary non-drinkers claim to have been asked if they would like one of these. A spokesman for the National Association […]
London’s inner city of Westminster has become a no-go area for the majority of British people, unless you happen to be a complete arse-hat, according to the latest report from Fox News. Seen by much of the world as an “arse-hat ghetto” Westminster is thought to be a lawless place where people in suits strut […]
The Supreme Leader of Iran Ayatollah Khamenei has published an open letter to the “Youth in Europe and North America” demanding that they stop ignoring the dwarf planet Pluto and start treating it like any other planet. The letter claims the West is subject to a disinformation campaign from its politicians and criticizes Western media sources […]
Prince Charles has confirmed that on becoming King he will pass a law that everyone must embrace alternative therapies, beginning with inserting a crystal up their arse. Hitting back at “scientists”, who have criticised his unnerving support for alternative therapies, the Prince, also known as the Duke of Woo, said that the conventional medical world […]
The Government have announced plans to launch an inquiry into all Government inquiries in an effort to ascertain why all recent inquiries, especially ones regarding possible criminality of politicians, never seem to end or if they do never come to any logical conclusion. A spokesman for the new inquiry said “All inquiries such as Parliamentary […]
The new television adaptation of Hilary Mantel’s Wolf of Wolf Hall is nothing short of a fucking triumph according to some very important and clever people indeed. With performances described as “marvellously humane”, “smoothly acidic”, and “not shit”, journalists were this morning falling over each other to express their admiration of it’s sheer absolute fucking […]
The recreational use of Marijuana is to be legalised in Wales as of this summer, according to a spokesman for the Welsh assembly following recent revelations that it does in fact have the authority to pass such legislation. “The USA have done it in some states and not others, and to our knowledge the world […]
Sir John Chilcott has confirmed that he recently completed his long awaited report into the 2003 Iraq war but sadly it was mauled and partially eaten by a 3 year old cocker spaniel. Speaking to a hastily assembled press conference Sir John explained that he had finished the report and had even written ‘The End’ […]
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