The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Home Secretary Theresa May has today silenced critics accusing the Government of yet another cover up with the news that a new investigation will be headed by none other than animated canine martial arts themed law enforcer Hong Kong Phooey. Speaking to an unusually full house of MPs Mrs May explained “These are largely problems […]
Michael Gove has this afternoon strenuously denied reports that he is being gradually eaten alive by Home Secretary Theresa May. Speaking on Andrew Neil’s political chat show ‘Afternoon Bollocks’ the Education Secretary explained “Theresa is a superb Home secretary. Fantastic. First rate. Top hole. And frankly anyone who thinks she is slowly and methodically eating […]
Under cover police may still be required to wear police helmets at all times according to the findings of a recent investigation into the conduct of under cover police. Seen as heralding a new era of openness and transparency, the move comes as many people claim to have been ‘fooled’ by policemen pretending not to […]
A solely Conservative Government will distance itself from the European Court of Human Rights and send everybody to prison, a party spokesman has confirmed this morning. Speaking to Andrew Neil on his weekday political show “Afternoon bollocks” the Home Secretary Theresa May explained: “Bang them up until they get used to it and it becomes […]
Britain is set to abolish the rule whereby every Police Officer must start at the bottom and work their way up, in order to give all senior positions to promising graduates, experienced managers from other sectors and mad as biscuits foreign police chiefs. Home Secretary Theresa May has frequently argued that a move away from […]
The proportion of adults who tell Policemen that they use illegal drugs has fallen to its lowest level since records began, according to the latest crime survey for England and Wales. The report states that drug use is now at it’s lowest since 1996, a notoriously well behaved year when absolutely no one took drugs […]
Home Secretary Theresa May has today opposed the advice of her own drugs advisers to announce that the plant Khat, which people chew and wakes you up a bit like coffee, is to be made illegal. Defending her decision, she told us “It’s not like coffee. It’s drugs. Despite what our drugs advisers may be […]
The Metropolitan Police has been in the spotlight again as it transpires the notorious ‘Animal but not fish protection league’ which terrorised companies involved in the cooking, experimenting on and taking the piss out of animals but not fish, was in fact made up entirely of undercover police officers. The undercover operation, the cost of […]
The British public this morning united as one to thank the English Defence League for being so quick off the mark to get together and defend Britain from extremists. By throwing bottles at the Police. A spokesman from the Metropolitan Police told us “Initially we felt after an attack from Islamic extremists we could have […]
Abu Qatada has surprised his critics today by agreeing to leave Britain on his own accord. He has however stipulated that Home Secretary Theresa May must come with him. In a statement read out by his solicitor this morning the hairy Lothario explained his decision. “The art of being a good guest is knowing when […]
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