The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The entire population of Sri Lanka have been spending the day running around an ever decreasing circle of chairs to music, having been forced to play musical chairs to celebrate Prince Charles’ birthday. In a lesser known condition of membership of the British Commonwealth, any hosting country is required to celebrate the birthday of any […]
Iain Duncan Smith has this morning insisted that his Universal Credits project can and will work, on the proviso that all would be claimants keep their pants on and refrain from any form of sexual activity. The Work and Pensions Secretary, has pledged to personally monitor the sexual activities of those on benefits in order […]
Downing Street have today summoned the American Ambassador following revelations that neither David Cameron, his cabinet or the majority of the British public have been bugged by America. The shocking realisation that in the scheme of things Britain might not be very important on the world stage is said to have hit David Cameron hard. Speaking at […]
Britains religious leaders of all denominations have been called to account for the fact that worsening storm conditions may be caused by Gods arse. Dr Brian Cox told us “I’m a leading proponent of scientific explanations. But doesn’t take Einstein, or me for that matter, to work out that if we are all created by […]
The government’s free schools programme is simply a front for creating religious dogma and forcing pupils to worship Michael Gove, according to campaigners. The National Secular Society said the growing influence of faith groups could undermine the integrity of Britain’s state schools, in particular when pupils are being taught that the world was created in […]
Hi I’m Michael Gove and I’m terribly upset by accusations that I am out of touch when I merely said poor people should manage their finances better instead of using food banks. It’s my fault for not being more specific, so I’d like to explain some money saving tips that have always worked for me […]
Prime Minister David Cameron has declared war on himself and advised that all other Conservative Party members do the same. Speaking at a press conference this morning the beleaguered Premier explained “We want a war. Labour did it. And we’re supposed to be the war party. And if Parliament won’t allow us to invade anywhere else […]
It’s been over 50 years since the first dinner party was ruined by someone saying, “I can’t eat this I’m vegetarian!” A protest then taken up by millions of people worldwide and which came to an end this morning. Its been a long and windy road for many protesters, some who had chosen to abstain […]
Many of Britain’s top banks and credit card companies have joined forces today to issue the following statement to the public “We’re sorry you’re so stupid.” A spokesman for the industry told us “We deeply regret telling you that when you took out a credit card you needed a special ‘underpant insurance’ to stop financial […]
Reality TV contestant and social commentator Katie Hopkins has today been ‘unavailable for comment’ amid accusations that she entered the house of a complete stranger and ate their gerbil. The former apprentice star whose catch phrase became “Is that a weasel? Don’t mind if I do” was apparently on location filming a new show about […]
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