The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Home Secretary Theresa May and the Minister for some Shit in a Field Owen Paterson are both said to be blaming each other today as the news broke of a leaked memo warning the Government of hard line caravanning extremists. A Government source told us “People just think they’ve always been there, but they don’t […]
A senior member of the Lib Dem party has reportedly said something or other about some stuff over the last few days. The Lib Dem politician who was most likely to be Nick Clegg, Danny Alexander or Vince Cable but could have been one of the others, if there actually are any others, reportedly covered […]
Far right movements such as the BNP, Britain First and UKIP are considering a joint protest today following a leaked memo that all new cars manufactured in Britain are now designed to face Mecca. A spokesman for the Honda factory in Swindon explained that the change in production had not been universally popular but their […]
Tony Blair has told opportunists to stop using history to judge him as he quite clearly meant history at some point in the future when he said that only history could judge him. Addressing a packed press conference the former Prime Minister explained “Indeed only history can judge me. But I don’t mean recent history […]
Former Smiths front man Morrissey has sent out a heartfelt plea to Britains pubs and restaurants to not ruin what would otherwise be a nice family lunch out, by overcooking all meat at their special fathers day Sunday carveries to the extent that people might just as well have stayed at home and cooked the […]
George Osborne has told a packed audience that a cap on mortgage loan amounts is essential in order to stop poor people from buying houses. Speaking to lots of people who can afford houses and also very nice dinner jackets, the Chancellor explained “We don’t want low to moderate earners to struggle with mortgage payments […]
The English public are pinning their hopes on England to win the tennis at Wimbledon and thus soften the blow of their shattered hopes and dreams in the football. One England fan told us “I’ve painted my house white with a red cross on it, I’ve got so many England flags hanging off my car […]
The referendum on Scottish independence looks set to be put back a year to 2015 as both sides have argued that they have not had enough time to talk about it and discuss all the issues. Scotland’s First Minister and SNP leader, Alex Salmond, explained “It’s scarcely been mentioned in the media and half of […]
David Cameron has announced tough new measures against non-Britishness in schools which will involve a new Ofsted task force headed by the Duke of Edinburgh Prince Philip. Speaking at a hastily assembled press conference the Prime Minister explained “Segregating pupils and force feeding religious ideology is completely unacceptable in our schools. OK, the school I […]
A Lib Dem Government would travel the country righting all wrongs and correcting the mistakes of their Conservative coalition leaders on a giant flying bollock, should they be voted in to power at the next General election, according to party Leader and Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg. Several metres in length and hovering several foot […]
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