The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Nigel Farage stands accused of stealing an egg from an unsuspecting member of the public in what appears to be an entirely unprovoked act of theft. The protester known only as Fred from Nottingham told us “Just because that Farage is famous he thinks he’s above the law. Alright, I might have thrown the egg […]
Former Olympic silver medallist Roger Black has been told to go back to his own country by UKIP candidates in yet another seemingly racially prejudiced gaffe by the one trick pony jingoistic bandwagon political group. UKIP candidate Rozane Duncan said “We accept he was born here, went to school here and won Britain several medals […]
Commuters in London are all said to be upbeat today having coped with the first day of a two day tube strike by having a proper cockney sing song to lift their spirits. The strike is in protest at measures announced by London Mayor Boris Johnson dispensing with the process where in order to commence […]
The political landscape is thought to have changed significantly and irreversibly today after UKIP leader Nigel Farage took a break from jingoistic knee-jerk ranting and instead arranged to have a bus driven into Portsmouth and Southsea railway station. Speaking from the wreckage to his own press officers and a handful of Portsmouth locals Mr Farage […]
Secretary of State for Health Jeremy Hunt has told patients that rather than attend surgeries or hospitals they should merely obtain their GPs mobile phone number and send them a selfie. Speaking on the Marr show this morning Mr Hunt explained: “I’m not a Doctor but I saw one recently and I used to regularly […]
People living in properties owned by the Crown who have been campaigning against being evicted from their homes have been told today that they will all be able to shack up at Buckingham Palace at least until they sort themselves out with somewhere else to live. The Crown Estate has confirmed it is proposing the sale […]
The Russian Ambassador has been summoned to Downing street this morning amidst accusations that Britain’s recent infestation with hipsters is all part of Vladimir Putin’s plan to widen the power of the Kremlin and increase the scope of the Russian federation into Europe. Hipsters have been arousing suspicion from the public at large since their […]
The City of London have spent this afternoon riding around on horses shooting guns in the air and drunkenly whooping at the news that Barclays bank shareholders have voted today to increase their spending on remuneration packages which include higher bonuses for staff despite a 30% drop in profits. One trader in a slightly contrived […]
Former Prime Minister Blair has warned western leaders that they must put aside their differences with Russia over Ukraine to focus on the threat of warmongering religious fanatics, except him. In a speech Mr Blair, now a middle east envoy said: “Alright, Putin invades Ukraine now and again and goes to church a bit, but […]
A yes vote in a future referendum to stay in Europe could mean 26 million Europeans arriving at our shores with the sole intention of having a good look at your bum, according to United Kingdom Independence Party leader Nigel Farage. “There’s 26 million Europeans roaming the continent with the prime intention of looking at […]
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