Captain Cook, all his descendants and anyone who looks a bit like him will have to fuck off back to their own country following a landmark ruling today to ban all immigrants who attempt to enter the country by boat.
Captain Cook to fuck off back to his own country as Australia bans immigration by boat
October 30, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Daily Mail readers’ anger at plans for black Milky Bar Kid
October 29, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Daily Mail readers have threatened to boycott Nestlé products following reports that the next Milky Bar Kid is thought to be black.
Brexiters’ fury as one of asylum seeking children actually a bear
October 20, 2016 by 1 Comment
Brexiters and Ukipers have voiced their indignation that one of the handful of child asylum seekers let into Britain might actually be a bear.
Britain secures trade deal with Liechtenstein
October 17, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Boris Johnson has secured a victory for Brexit Britain having reportedly brokered a trade deal with the country of Liechtenstein.
Bill Cosby withdraws support for Trump
October 14, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Entertainer Bill Cosby has publicly withdrawn support for Presidential hopeful Donald Trump saying that he may even vote for rival Hilary Clinton instead.
Government to escape to private island following Brexit
October 12, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Theresa May’s Government are planning to escape to a privately owned tropical island following a hard Brexit according to Conservative party insiders.
BREXIT joy as pound worth same as Britain in 1972
October 11, 2016 by Leave a Comment
UKIP members and leave voters have been popping corks this evening following news that the value of the pound reached the same as it was in 1972, just before Britain joined the EU.
Marauding clowns just leaderless UKIP members
October 9, 2016 by 1 Comment
The recent spell of marauding clowns throughout the UK is comprised of UKIP members who have had their referendum, lost their leader and now don’t know what to do, according to former leader Nigel Farage. “They’ve had their vote, they’ve worked out that all their problems are going to be there whether we’re in Europe […]
Trump to limit sexual assault to outside work hours
October 9, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Donald Trump has promised US citizens that he will keep all future sexual assaults outside work hours so as not to affect his ability to perform as president.
Amber Rudd “British loo paper for British arses”
October 5, 2016 by 1 Comment
British people are to wipe their British arses with British loo paper after using British toilets, according to new legislation outlined today by Home Secretary Amber Rudd.
News Toad 
You must be logged in to post a comment.