The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Jeremy Hunt has told today of his encouragement at the silent support of 2% of Junior Doctors who have said they won’t go on strike in protest against his reforms. Speaking to John Humphrys on the Today Programme Mr Hunt explained that Doctors were stupid and didn’t understand numbers. “However, for every 98 Doctors that […]
A racist bloke in an office is still going for it like a trooper, two full working days after the Paris shootings and showing no signs of giving it a rest, according to reports from workmates. Feeling sufficiently vindicated by recent events to continue wittering on indefinitely, Mr Daley Mayall, of ‘We sell any car’ […]
Britain is to continue naming increasingly lame storms until such time that someone has to think up a name every time there is just some weather. The news comes as Storm Barney approaches Britain’s East coast causing disruption to picnics and outdoor card games. The Met office have advised widespread school closures, once lessons have […]
The owner of a speciality ham shop in Oxfordshire has defended his recent decision to refuse to serve all Muslims until such time as they take responsibility for events instigated in a different country by people they had no connection to. Dave England, proprietor of “Out of Hams way” in Bicester village, said “I can’t […]
A highly organised criminal dwarf gang are being hunted as prime suspects as the entire £32 million proceeds from last year’s Children in Need were mistakenly awarded to sham charity “Children with beards” The charities promotional leaflet says “Many of these children have had excessive facial hair since the age of 3. As a result […]
David Cameron has demanded an immediate inquiry, headed by himself, to look into how he was allowed to make complaints to himself about himself. “Something’s got to be done about it” Mr Cameron reportedly told himself in a strongly worded letter. “It’s gone too far. It started off with a harmless game of cutting off […]
Ravers from the late eighties through to the late nineties have reacted furiously to accusations that they used illegal drugs in order to award themselves with the title of having had the “best night ever” The revelations have caused upset amongst non drug using ravers who spent night out after night out dancing away to […]
The Government have refused to comment today on reports that a UFO was spotted on a number of occasions by independent witnesses in different parts of London over the week-end. One witness Mike Diaper who had been taking an evening stroll through Blackheath told us “It was like a yellow light that shot up into […]
A spokesman for Coca Cola has confirmed that the company’s lawyers have written to church leaders asking them to cease and desist from hijacking Christmas day for their own religious ends. “It’s about time these bible thumpers stopped hijacking our special day.It’s all very nice this away in a manger business but it’s hardly in […]
George Bush Senior, the 41st President of the United States, has lambasted his son in his new biography which complains that George W Bush Junior only spent a mere half to three quarters of his presidency bombing the absolute fuck out of the middle east. “If he’d just gotten himself out of bed and started […]
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