The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Westminster have outlined plans today to offer Scotland the gift of fire in the event of a no vote. In what is seen as part of a cynical last ditch attempt to persuade Scotland to remain part of the United Kingdom, Gordon brown was brought out of retirement to offer Scottish voters not only some […]
Education Secretary Nicky Morgan has dismissed claims that the Government is planning to oblige Secondary schools to arrange pupils in height order, so each pupil can be taught in an environment where their classmates are roughly the same size. “Do I look like Michael Gove in a dress? We’re not changing anything. Nothing at all. […]
Rapper Cee Lo Green has made a heartfelt plea to fans, non fans and the public in general to cease and desist from the recent craze of shoving inanimate objects up his arse. The rapper best known for singing ‘crazy’ made the announcement via twitter, facebook and telepathy from his room in a private hospital where […]
Scientists have this morning confirmed that the most recent outbreak of conservatism may soon be under control. Dr Bertram Onions of GlaxoSmithKline told us that initial trials on members of parliament had proved promising and the drug was now ready to be administered to all MPs exhibiting symptoms of the debilitating condition. “We know sooner […]
The official end of summer this week has been hailed by convertible drivers throughout the country as it now means they can so something else at weekends other than endlessly drive their cars up and down the seafront. One driver told us that for him the move to autumn couldn’t have come sooner. “It’s shit. […]
British people who have second homes in France may have to just stay there, according to new legislation announced today by the Government. In a move that is seen by some as pandering to potential UKIP voters, those who own second homes in France are to be targeted for their reputation for coming back into […]
A covert attack on Britain from terrorist cell Islamic State is likely to involve the use of 1970s Space Hoppers, according to intelligence sources. “Space Hoppers are such an intrinsic part of British culture that an entire army of jihadists could bounce into a city centre without people raising so much as an eye […]
Britain is to send a crack team of 1970s northern comedians to Iraq and Syria in an attempt to cheer up members of extremist military organisation Islamic State as part of a series of measures announced by the Government this morning. Speaking at a heaving press conference Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond said “They do seem […]
The old adage of a butterfly flapping it’s wings can cause a tsunami the other side of the planet, or in this case a poonami as the much publicised new craze of shit bucket challenge has gone viral in recent weeks. Stories are coming in thick and fast from people are choosing not to avail […]
Prime Minister David Cameron has promised to help Britain’s best Reiki healers to fly over to West Africa to help with the Ebola virus outbreak. “We haven’t tried connecting sufferers with their inner wholeness. As far as we can work out the World Health Organisation has no strategy for tackling the virus through intangible energy […]
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