The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Pop band Duran Duran have been found still sailing on a boat singing the song Rio, apparently unaware that it was no longer the 1980s. A spokesman for the production company that had made the original video told us that they would take full responsibility as no-one in the team had specifically told them to […]
Portsmouth Grammar School are looking likely to increase their fees for the coming term having successfully tutored a 4 year old tabby cat through GCSE Maths. Known to class mates as Fiddles, the cat managed to break all records within feline academia by obtaining a grade C, despite not seeming fully engaged during the examination […]
Channel 5 have confirmed today that the Celebrity Big Brother house will be getting a new house mate this week in the form of Britain’s most dangerous inmate Charles Bronson. A spokesman for the show’s production company Endemol explained “It’s another twist in the saga. Everybody likes a bit of drama, and you don’t get […]
Kelly Hoppen is to forego the formality of deciding whether to invest in new businesses on TVs Dragons Den and simply talk about herself according to Kelly Hoppen whilst talking about herself on a recent episode of TVs Dragons Den. Speaking to a man pitching for a computer games business, Ms Hoppen explained “I get […]
The BBC have confirmed that from September Iain Duncan Smith will be appearing in a new reality TV series set to find him a Best friend Forever or BFF. In a promotional trailer for the show Mr Duncan Smith tells us: “People think that after a busy day dismantling the welfare state at a greater […]
Football fans have come together to promise the Premier league that they will never ever post goals via vine on twitter again and that they are all jolly sorry that they ever did in the first place. One sorrowful fan told us “We know what we have done is wrong and we’re all wracked […]
Members of the public with a penchant for singing Cliff Richard songs at work, whilst out walking or maybe just in the bath, are being told to get it out of their systems once and for all on the off chance that if the singer is arrested and convicted of something, then all his songs […]
Manchester United fans are said to be livid today at news that an imminent ban on tablet computers at Old Trafford may mean having to watch football for virtually the whole duration of each visit. One furious fan told us “I paid 900 odd quid for my season ticket, well my company did anyway, and […]
Russian premier Vladimir Putin has today pledged support for an international aid mission in Eastern Ukraine by donating a gargantuan metal horse Speaking on TV channel Russia Today Mr Putin said “Eastern Ukranians have endured a terrible time which is obviously nothing to do with us, but we would like to lift everyone’s spirits a […]
Former Smiths front man Morrissey has silenced critics today by offering himself up as cuisine for anyone that eats meat so as to hopefully offer a nutritious alternative to meat and thus save the life of a cow, lamb or otter. “It means I can encourage people to be herbivorous and musically whinge about being […]
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