The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The Conservative party is thought to be divided today over whether to be total bastards or utter bastards. Prime Minister David Cameron has denied that now the Conservative Government has disenfranchised just about every sector of society that isn’t them, they were ready to turn on each other like a pack of rabid dogs. However, […]
Prime Minister David Cameron has told critics that he is “quite comfortable” with the fact that his mother has become a paid up member of the Lib dems. Playing down an rumours of any sort of family rift Mr Cameron said “The marvellous thing about a democracy is that there is room for all of […]
Boris Johnson has formalised his campaign to run for Prime Minister under the guise of some argument over membership of the EU. The shaggy, self serving, former Eton schoolboy said that the question of whether to remain in the EU was a complicated issue and it had taken him hours of painstaking thought to work out […]
David Cameron has convinced other European countries to start driving on the left, as part of a new deal in the EU that includes other member states having eggs and bacon for breakfast and speaking English amongst themselves. Beaming proudly, a victorious Mr Cameron said “We want Britain to stay in the EU as a […]
Suggestions of any relationship between Jeremy Corbyn and David Cameron’s mother have been dismissed by all sides today as nothing but rumours and tittle tattle. One parliamentary source told us “They may both be making a stand against the Conservative Government’s vicious cuts, but anyone saying that they are even just good friends, let alone […]
The leader of a monumentally wealthy pack of cunts that have found themselves born into the ruling classes has this morning denounced all Calais refugees as a bunch of migrants. “They’ve been told by that Jeremy Corbyn that they can simply come over here and have free cake.” Mr Cameron explained whilst simultaneously reaching for […]
Pasty eating pint swilling Prime Minister, man of the people and common or garden bloke next door David Cameron, is now a huge Bowie fan, and will be lamenting the demise of the ground-breaking musician by listening to all his music for the first time. “It’s like part of my heart has been torn away” […]
Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne has confirmed today that the Government will sort out all the recent flooding by way of a series of harsh cuts in public spending. Speaking to people in the north of England via the television, where he was being interviewed in a nice dry government building in a city […]
Black-cab drivers are to be forced to forget the knowledge and instead use either a sat-nav or just drive around in circles like a twat hoping to finally stumble on their destination, according to new legislation announced by the Government. David Cameron warned that climbing into a taxi whose driver had some sort of fucking […]
Former Prime Minister Tony Blair is reportedly having a wank in a big pile of bombs and fast approaching his vinegar strokes. Speaking from outside one of Mr Blair’s homes, where he is reportedly locked in the khasi along with a stash of missiles, a portable TV and a multi-pack of Andrex, a close confidante […]
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