Theresa May “I’m the big change you all wanted”

Prime Minister in waiting Theresa May has congratulated the electorate for really sticking it to the man with the recent EU referendum with a warming message to the public. “I’m the fruit of your endeavours. I’m the big change you wanted.

Portsmouth park to become shrine to Margaret Thatcher

A park in the centre of Portsmouth is to become a shrine to former Conservative Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher including a 30 foot statue surrounded by right wing topiary.

Angela Eagle leadership bid sponsored by Starbucks

Angela Eagle’s leadership campaign for the top job in the Labour party is to be sponsored by coffee giant Starbucks, according to a statement released today, heralding a partnership that is thought to be completely impartial, aside from some very important messages. Though the leadership bid has been announced today, it will officially begin tomorrow […]

Leadsom to bring back corporal punishment, ducking stools and blood letting

Conservative leadership hopeful Andrea Leadsom will bring back corporal punishment, blood letting and ducking tools should she obtain the job of Prime Minister.

Conservatives to choose between nearly as bad as Thatcher or slightly worse

Swivel eyed loons at Conservative clubs throughout the country are preparing to choose a new despot, as the choice now appears to be between ‘nearly as mad as Thatcher’ and ‘quite a bit worse’.

Chilcot “I haven’t done the report”

Sir John Chilcot has confessed today that those eagerly waiting to read his report on the Iraq War may be sorely disappointed. Because he hasn’t done it.

Ladbrokes stop taking bets on new Prime Minister being an arse-hat

Ladbrokes have announced that from today they will not be taking any further bets on the new Prime Minister being an arse hat.

Prime Minister Gove to punish everyone

Michael Gove has promised today that should he obtain the role of Prime Minister he will exact venomous revenge on all humankind rather than just singling out a particular minority to punish.

Jeremy Hunt to stand for labour leadership

Jeremy Hunt has announced that he will throw his hat into the ring to challenge Jeremy Corbyn in the forthcoming leadership contest.

Armchair pundit called Gavin announced as new England Manager

Plucked from obscurity in a surprise move by the FA, Gavin Watson is set to become a household name after being announced as the replacement for Roy Hodgson who resigned last night.