The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
George Osborne has confirmed today that he will be passing a law banning any future Governments not being Conservative. Speaking ahead of his annual Mansion House speech on Wednesday, George Osborne outlined his plans to ensure future governments “act like a bit of a git” even when there is no evidence based reason for doing […]
Russian President Vladimir Putin has said that he will completely understand if Russia loses the right to host the 2018 World Cup should some evidence of bribery be uncovered in the current FBI investigation on FIFA. Speaking to a heaving press conference the Mr Putin said “We will of course launch a full investigation into […]
Portsmouth locals have been up in arms following the recent news that the United Arab Emirates airline has demanded popular retail and leisure outlet Gunwharf be made alcohol free as condition of them sponsoring the famous Spinnaker tower. The ban which will include anywhere within a 1/4 mile radius of the tower itself is thought […]
Taylor Swift has once again hit the headlines following reports that she has taken a shit or something. Famous for a number of hits including that one that goes doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doooo, der-derr, de-der-derr. Swift has recently bagged the front page for antic such as walking backwards, getting into a car and sitting down on a number […]
Former Smiths front man Morrissey is said to be unavailable for comment following revelations that his LA mansion actually hides a private theme park dedicated to all forms of processed meat. Former Smiths bandmate Johnny Marr told us “Publicly he’s been a vegetarian for many years. Privately he loves a Big Mac or a chopped […]
Islamic State have refused to confirm or deny that they are responsible for the sudden disappearance of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian as concern grows for their whereabouts, neither having appeared on any form of media for a matter of hours. One eye witness told us “I saw two people bundled into a car by […]
Grass roots conservative campaigners have hailed the Government’s announcement to bring back National service as a victory for common sense, one that will finally herald a welcome return to how things used to be. The news comes after the Conservatives failed to pass a law to “String them all up” blaming meddling from Europe and […]
Juan Caunetto (38) experienced a drama that all men secretly dread whilst walking briskly to catch a tube train from Baker Street station in London. Just before entering the station he checked his flies only to find out that not only were they open but his own knob was hanging out for all to see. […]
Members of the 1970s band Boney M have been told that they will face a travel ban on any future trips to Russia should they be planning such a thing according to information released this morning. The band are reportedly on a list of almost a hundred public figures all banned from Russia which includes […]
People caught smiling, laughing, dancing or exhibiting a cheerful persona are to be arrested on suspicion of use of legal highs as part of the Government’s ‘arrest everyone for everything except alcohol and tobacco’ drive. Prime Minister David Cameron warned anyone of a lower social stature but a suspiciously sunny disposition to expect the full […]
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