The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
David Cameron has today asked Nicola Sturgeon to “calm down dear” and not to get her knickers in a twist following demands for more fiscal powers for Scotland made by the SNP at a meeting held today. According to sources present the Premier who earlier told reporters that he was off on a hot date […]
Prince Charles wrote repeatedly to the then Secretary of state for Health Patricia Hewitt demanding that conventional healthcare on the NHS be replaced immediately with didgeridoo therapy according to a series of private letters that have now been released into the public domain. An excerpt from one such correspondence in 2005 read “Dear Patricia, It’s […]
David Cameron’s new cabinet is merely a front for a Dalek invasion designed to destroy the word and everything in it according to according to former Doctor Who Christopher Eccleston. Speaking to John Humphreys on his Today Programme Mr Eccleston said “You don’t get to be Doctor Who for a whole series without noticing when […]
Former and now current UKIP leader Nigel Farage has told the British public that despite promises to the contrary he will not be pissing off out of the limelight, unless former Respect MP George Galloway does. Speaking to a heaving press conference, Mr Farage said “George isn’t pissing off because the people of Bradford west […]
Non voters have spent the week-end celebrating the fact that they really stuck it to the man by not voting and thus let him know that they were disillusioned with the whole system. One such non-voter told us “I looked through the list of candidates, and none were in touch with me, and what I […]
Barry Chuckle has this morning denied rumours of any sibling animosity following the news that he will be running against his brother Paul in the forthcoming labour leadership battle. One Labour insider told us “Paul Chuckle is furious. Over and above entertaining generations of children with the same joke he has never hidden his naked […]
Conservative voters are looking forward to the next 5 years of a Conservative Government, confident that they themselves will never get ill and as a result won’t be affected by the inevitable demise of the NHS. One voter we spoke to trying to get a last GP check up in told us “I don’t want […]
Prime Minister David Cameron is understood to be bringing back the 1980s Conservative cabinet from beyond the grave using a combination of medical science and voodoo according to Downing street insiders. Former Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg said “They’ve been trying to do this for the last five years. Up until now we’ve been able […]
David Cameron has offered his heartfelt thanks to the people of Scotland for tactically voting to keep him in power. Speaking at a heaving conference a gushing and grateful Mr Cameron said “Not only did you drive Labour out of Scotland, you scared your English cousins with the idea of a labour SNP coalition and […]
David Cameron is preparing for what may be his very last poo at number 10 should he be forced out of his Prime Ministerial job and home by Ed Miliband after tomorrow’s general election. According to Downing Street insiders the long tradition of new Prime Ministers having to ‘give it ten minutes’ due to the […]
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