The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
In a week that has seen David Cameron not only accidentally invited to a meeting to choose his successor but actually nominated to take over from himself as Party Leader, moves are apparently afoot amongst grass roots conservatives to get rid of David Cameron’s replacement as soon as he or she replaces David Cameron. One […]
David Cameron has announced a minimum price on a bag of cocaine as part of tough new measures designed to keep class A drug use for birthdays, bank holidays and other special occasions. Speaking at a press conference the Premier told us “We’ve decided that people should be allowed to drink as much alcohol as […]
The Labour party have come out as odds on favourites in the event of a fist fight with the Conservatives, according to recently published data from the Office for National Statistics. A spokesman told us “It’s all very well them standing in parliament arguing about methods of fiscal deficit reduction, but sooner or later it’s […]
David Cameron has been secretly wining and dining the producers of hit TV sports show ‘One man and his dog’ in a bid to round up stray grass roots tories who are determined to have their own opinions on things, according to an unnamed source. “He’s infuriated with trying to come across as a man […]
The Duchess of Cambridge, Princess Kate Middleton has broken her customary regal silence, to voice her disagreement with writer Hilary Mantel, and let her know that she plans to punch her in the tits. The situation has escalated since it began a fortnight ago, when Mantel gave a speech at the British Museum in which […]
Middle England is predicted to turn its back on traditional family values and instead follow bohemian alternative lifestyles, as Prime Minister David Cameron has announced that the Government will no longer be introducing a tax break for married couples in next months budget. The U-turn is widely feared to open the flood gates for threesomes, […]
David Cameron has told the European Union “Give us a better deal or I’ll release the monkey people” leaving many shocked at the surprisingly short speech that had been awaited for months and postponed several times. The speech has sparked debate throughout the media as well as throughout Europe as to what Mr Cameron actually […]
The BBC has once again been the target of numerous complaints following a spate of childrens’ television programmes starring characters who look similar to disgraced disc jockey Jimmy Saville. Director general Tony Hall has admitted that things could have been handled better. “We always have a skim through the days listings just to make sure […]
The new flat rate state pension has been formulated with the sole objective of keeping old people out of restaurants, according to leaked e-mails between Prime Minister David Cameron and Secretary of State for Work and Pensions Iain Duncan Smith. As part of a controversial plan to ‘hide the over 60s’ the correspondence details plans […]
David Cameron has been declared ‘fit for work’ and may lose his £142,500 per annum benefits according to disability denying random benefit allocators Atos. The decision may come as a blow for one of Britain’s highest paid benefit claimants who may struggle to match his income through conventional employment. An insider told us “Look, he’s […]
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