The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Britain must sell its own Grandmothers to whichever corporation either offers the best price or has Tory party donors on its board of directors according to Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking at an event celebrating 800 years of the Magna Carta the Prime Minister explained that whilst such a policy was not proposed in 1215, […]
People caught smiling, laughing, dancing or exhibiting a cheerful persona are to be arrested on suspicion of use of legal highs as part of the Government’s ‘arrest everyone for everything except alcohol and tobacco’ drive. Prime Minister David Cameron warned anyone of a lower social stature but a suspiciously sunny disposition to expect the full […]
Foreigners are to be excluded from the forthcoming referendum on whether the United Kingdom wishes to remain part of Europe, which might result in more of that multiculturalism, according to David Cameron this morning. “We can’t have someone who is European born and has been working here and paying taxes for twenty years casting votes […]
David Cameron has today asked Nicola Sturgeon to “calm down dear” and not to get her knickers in a twist following demands for more fiscal powers for Scotland made by the SNP at a meeting held today. According to sources present the Premier who earlier told reporters that he was off on a hot date […]
David Cameron’s new cabinet is merely a front for a Dalek invasion designed to destroy the word and everything in it according to according to former Doctor Who Christopher Eccleston. Speaking to John Humphreys on his Today Programme Mr Eccleston said “You don’t get to be Doctor Who for a whole series without noticing when […]
Non voters have spent the week-end celebrating the fact that they really stuck it to the man by not voting and thus let him know that they were disillusioned with the whole system. One such non-voter told us “I looked through the list of candidates, and none were in touch with me, and what I […]
Prime Minister David Cameron is understood to be bringing back the 1980s Conservative cabinet from beyond the grave using a combination of medical science and voodoo according to Downing street insiders. Former Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg said “They’ve been trying to do this for the last five years. Up until now we’ve been able […]
David Cameron has reportedly been seen leaving Jim Davidson’s house sparking rumours that he may be wooing the support of the popular comedian. The support of the veteran comedian whose popularity means that he regularly fills provincial town halls and civic centres, holds such power amongst middle England that a thumbs up from him could […]
A Labour Government will put legislation into place to enable all workers to occasionally kick their boss up the arse without any risk of being fired or incurring criminal charges according to leader Ed Miliband. Speaking on the Marr show the shadow Prime Minister said “We still need to make difficult decisions in terms of […]
Former Prime Minister and Labour leader Tony Blair has warned the public that they should not vote for David Cameron as he has weapons of mass destruction, that he can mobilise within 45 minutes. Addressing a heaving press conference Mr Blair said “Britain will take a lurch to the right under a conservative only Government. […]
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