The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Andy Burnham has reportedly staged an armed coup of the Labour leadership, surrounding himself with trigger happy henchmen and claiming total control and leadership of the Labour party, according to news just in. In a televised message Mr Burnham said “I warned you I would do or say anything to get into power. It has […]
Pope Francis has unveiled reforms intended to relax formerly strict Catholic rules on felching in a speech made today. Speaking to a heaving press conference outside the Vatican, his Holiness said “We don’t want to alienate half our flock who may at some time have had cause to engage in felching, perhaps through no fault […]
All immigrants in America must speak American, but not native American, according to former Governor of Alaska, and anti-recent immigration politician, Sarah Palin. Speaking to a large gathering of people waving flags and chanting ‘USA!’, Mrs Palin said “If you want to be in America, let’s speak American. None of that indigenous American from before […]
A new Government bill could give police powers to disperse groups of one unless they are wearing an arm band, a top hat, and have 14 forms of identification under proposed amendments to trade union laws announced today. Business Secretary Sajid Javid said ” It’s not enough for these people that we have more job […]
A former Costa coffee employee has said she is “heartbroken” following her dismissal from Costa coffee, a company that she loved working for so much that she had the company logo tattooed on her arm. A tearful Tracey Crapper from Burgess Hill told us “I loved everything about that job. I loved selling warm caffeinated drinks, marketed […]
The Government are today facing calls to rapidly increase immigration in order to dilute the gene pool of Daily Mail readers, Daily Express readers and UKIPPers, which continues to show no signs of breeding with anyone else apart from other like minded Caucasians with the same newspaper reading habits, often hailing from the same village. […]
Super rich arse-hat and former Sainsbury boss Justin King told today of his fury at a 50p an hour pay rise meaning many full time workers might be able to run amok paying bills and having enough to eat willy nilly. Mr King who trousered almost £2 million in his last year working for Sainsbury […]
Scotland should be able to decide what time it goes to bed at night free of diktats from Westminster, according to Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon. Speaking at the Edinburgh Television Festival, Ms Sturgeon said that Scotland’s strict bed time routine orchestrated by Westminster politicians meant that many Scots, having had by law to get […]
Britain is to trial making gun ownership legal following its resounding success in America and the many convincing arguments from republicans that this freedom to bear arms thing is actually very good idea. Prime Minister David Cameron said “You might think our cousins from over the pond are psychopathic buffoons with their insistence on keeping […]
Iain Duncan smith is a monumental cunt according to a new report released today by everyone else. Thought to be the case for some time amongst the chattering classes, the rumours have now been scientifically proved correct after a single drop of the work and Pensions Secretary’s blood was extracted and placed on litmus paper […]
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