The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The General Election took an unexpected turn this morning when aspiring Conservative leader Boris Johnson told all floating voters that a vote for his party would mean free drugs. Speaking this morning on the Andrew Marr show where he was vying with Labour Leader Ed Miliband for the best vote winning policies Mr Johnson said […]
Katie Hopkins is to be pneumatically inflated and used as a boat in order to transport people on essential sea voyages according to sources close to the right wing shock monger. One source told us “She just wants to do the right thing. She may come across via the media as a rather unpleasant person, […]
The SNP have “Big plans for the Home Counties” and are fully prepared to discuss non-Scottish things with non-Scottish people should they hold the balance of power following the General Election on May 7th. SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon told a press conference that should she find herself as Deputy Prime Minister she would immerse herself […]
Greg Wallace is reported to be critical but stable, having been run over by a cliché during today’s filming of Masterchef A source from the never-ending, swanky-nosh competition told us “It’s a dangerous job. He spouts this shit day in, day out knowing that at any point one of his nuggets of generic mediocrity could […]
Former First Lady and now presidential hopeful Hilary Clinton has vowed to outlaw possession of all firearms throughout America, the moment she begins her term as President Speaking to a packed press conference Mrs Clinton said “We have 40 times as many gun deaths per head of population than Britain where it is illegal to […]
A Green Party Government will ban all forms of competitive sports, forcing sports channels on TV to instead show programmes about vegetarian cookery and eco-homes that run on poo. Already hitting the headlines for her promise to crack down on the illegal but widely practised sport of sheep fighting, party leader Natalie Bennett has gone […]
Former Prime Minister and Labour leader Tony Blair has warned the public that they should not vote for David Cameron as he has weapons of mass destruction, that he can mobilise within 45 minutes. Addressing a heaving press conference Mr Blair said “Britain will take a lurch to the right under a conservative only Government. […]
The Easter week-end has been a time for double celebration for ginger Lib Dem Danny Alexander as the Chief Secretary to the treasury was also celebrating his 21st birthday. Mr Alexander is thought to have toasted his 21st with a select group of friends of a similar age before bringing the festivities to an early […]
David Cameron and Ed Miliband have refused to rule out a coalition with each other should the smaller parties start getting too many seats and therefore want to be involved in Government. A spokesman for both parties said “It should be quite straight forward. We’ll do some things we want to do and some things […]
Yesterdays leadership debate has been branded farcical by many voters across England who were persuaded to give Plaid Cymru their vote only to find out they apparently couldn’t. One incensed viewer from Surrey said “Apparently I can’t vote for the nice Welsh lady. They tease us by putting someone vaguely normal on these debates and then […]
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