Scotland will continue to have referendums indefinitely until one goes in favour of independence, at which point it will stop having them and draw a line under the whole affair according to Scotland’s First Minister Nicola Sturgeon.
Royal baby photos released by media thinking it’s the 1970s and anyone cares
May 1, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Some photos of a perfectly normal baby on her first birthday are being widely publicised by the media today, due to a dark feudal lineage based on her ancestors seizing totalitarian power through a murderous rampage.
Daily Mail readers confused now Labour are racist
May 1, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Daily Mail readers have this morning demanded clarity from their newspaper following claims that the labour party are in fact the party of racial intolerance. One outraged reader said “I’ve been reading the Mail every morning since the 1960s and have dutifully followed my instructions to blame all my life’s woes on the foreign looking […]
Jeremy Hunt to go on strike
April 26, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Secretary of State for Health Jeremy Hunt is set to go on strike imminently having balloted himself earlier on today.
David Cameron’s cat 8th on Sunday Times rich list
April 24, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Prime Minister David Cameron has refused to discuss the apparent wealth of his cat as publicised today in the Sunday Times rich list arguing that it is a private matter. Speaking this morning on the Marr show Mr Cameron said “Obviously I might have helped him open the accounts. He’s a cat. Does he pay […]
Stonehenge summer solstice party to end at midnight
April 23, 2016 by 1 Comment
Revellers celebrating the summer solstice at Stonehenge this year will be expected to vacate the site by midnight, in order to make it clean and presentable for paying visitors the following day, according to the latest diktat by English Heritage. A spokesman for the charity, who are entrusted with charging people for things they already […]
Coldplay not even ill
April 21, 2016 by Leave a Comment
The band Coldplay were reportedly not even ill last night let alone on death’s door according to sources close to the band.
Disappointment as super-injunction possibly just about Elton John’s stupid sex life
April 16, 2016 by 3 Comments
The British public have today aired their mass disappointment that according to some people on twitter the great big celebrity super-injunction that has been in the news for weeks might just be about Elton John and his stupid sex life. One person thriving on unfounded rumour said “We don’t know if it is or it […]
Farage “Europeans enjoying free foreign holidays”
April 15, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Europeans are enjoying free foreign holidays at our expense according to UKIP leader Nigel Farage.
Osborne “I do not benefit personally from being rich”
April 12, 2016 by Leave a Comment
George Osborne has assured critics that he does not benefit in any way from being rich. “I may have lowered the top rate of tax in 2012 to increase my own net income but I can assure you that I don’t get any advantage from that. “It just passes through my bank account. Some of […]
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