Theresa May will still be Prime Minister by Christmas and may even remain in power for longer than Donald Trump according to party insiders.
Weak and pissy lager in weaker and pissier than advertised shocker
August 26, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Weak and pissy lager giant Carling has apologised following revelations that their weak and pissy lager is actually weaker and pissier than advertised, shocking all but people who have ever tried it.
Brexiters celebrate by buying one beer between them in Spain
August 23, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Some Brexiters on holiday in Spain have celebrated getting their country back by clubbing together for a glass of beer and four straws it has emerged today.
Isle of Wight residents boycott Asda after new bags read “Isle of Shite”
August 22, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Isle of Wight residents are threatening to boycott the new Asda superstore after their new bags for life were found to read “Isle of Shite”.
Hawking blames fault in voice simulator as Health secretary called Jeremy Cunt
August 19, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Professor Stephen Hawking has blamed a fault in the software on his voice simulator after he appeared to refer to the Secretary of State for Health as Jeremy Cunt.
“Many people have impurities in their arses” David Wolfe warns
August 13, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Much of the western world is suffering with impurities in their arses, caused by modern living and conventional science, according to alternative medicine advocate David Wolfe.
Man sacked following revelations he never attended the school of hard knocks
August 9, 2017 by Leave a Comment
A man has been sacked with immediate effect following the discovery that he never actually attended the University of life or the school of hard knocks as claimed in his interview.
Overweight maniacal despot with nuclear weapons threatens Kim Jong-Un
August 9, 2017 by Leave a Comment
North Korean President Kim Jong-un has appealed for United Nations support in dealing with a rogue overweight despot who terrifyingly now has access to nuclear weapons.
Butchers prepare for busiest day of the year as vegans take day off
August 8, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Butchers are preparing for their busiest trading day outside Christmas as vegans throughout Britain approach their annual day off this week.
Rolf Harris confirmed as Strictly contestant
August 7, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Rolf Harris has confirmed that he will be entering Strictly Come Dancing as a contestant for the forthcoming 2017 competition.
News Toad 
You must be logged in to post a comment.