The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The Catholic Church has been thrown into turmoil today by the Pope’s decision to resign from the catholic Church to ‘seek new challenges within the private sector’. The announcement came as a surprise to insiders who had gathered to join the Pope for his weekly game of ‘ecumenical cricket’, where participants gain one run for […]
Findus have issued a statement today explaining that they have themselves been the victim of an elaborate scam by cows who have managed to persuade gullible horses to take their places in abattoirs. It’s thought that organised cells of cows have managed to swap places with horses using a mixture of outright lies and emotional […]
Plans to scrap GCSEs in key subjects in England and Wales, and replace them with English Baccalaureate Certificates are today being abandoned by the Government after Education Secretary Michael Gove followed a recent statement on the matter with the word ‘jokes’. Under the the Parliamentary Humour Act of 1878 any proposed legislation followed by the […]
Disgraced Liberal Democrat MP Chris Huhne will more than likely skip bail to become a soldier of fortune as opposed to serving his imminent prison sentence according to an inside source who wished to remain nameless. “He’s always wanted to be in a fictitious American vigilante organisation of some sort or other. Getting a criminal […]
Middle England is predicted to turn its back on traditional family values and instead follow bohemian alternative lifestyles, as Prime Minister David Cameron has announced that the Government will no longer be introducing a tax break for married couples in next months budget. The U-turn is widely feared to open the flood gates for threesomes, […]
Justice minister Jeremy Wright has ordered maximum security at all of Britain’s prisons as it has emerged that virtually all prison food contains traces of owl. The Ministry of Justice is to suspend a firm supplying meat to prisons after tests found that it may have provided pies and pasties containing traces of owl varying […]
Councils throughout Britain are demanding more taxes to wank into a bucket as little is left in the coffers for basic services after the majority of local authority income has been wanked into a bucket. The move will hit households on low incomes, particularly since Iain Duncan Smith has decided that poor people don’t actually […]
Iran has been accused of creating a smokescreen with it’s highly publicised ‘free of charge galactic monkey holidays’ the first of which happened yesterday. Western Governments have argued that this display of overt monkey kindness may have a sinister ulterior motive and indeed theories have ranged from plans to start a pro-Iranian ‘planet of the […]
Robert Mugabe is to be flown into Britain to offer advice on fiscal policy as part of emergency Government measures, it was revealed today. Having recently brought inflation in his country from a figure of millions down to a mere several thousand per cent and being renowned for his no nonsense policies of bulldozing the […]
The United States have warned North Korean leader Kim Jong-un to cease his nuclear program immediately or they will have no option but to launch a new Rocky film. The last time a Rocky Film was used aggressively by America was in the 1980s when a pretend bout between Sylvester Stallone and Dolph Lundgren successfully […]
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