The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
BBC1’s religious shanty programme ‘Songs of Praise’ is to now have Simon Cowell commenting after each hymn and awarding points as part of what many see as a long overdue revamp of the programme. A spokesman for the BBC told us “It should have been done years ago. The show’s been running since 1961 where […]
It’s all soon going to be here again, sleigh bells, holly, and bizarre gift packs that nobody could ever want but will happily buy, wrap up and give to each other as presents. Once Guy Fawkes night is over it’s basically a straight run to Christmas and many people will be getting excited, none more so […]
It’s been one of Britains longest running series of all time, but today Director General of the BBC, Lord Hall of Birkenhead, has confirmed that the final part of the weather will be screened on Sunday. “We’ve nowhere else to go with it. We’ve had it all, strong winds, weak winds, swirly winds, hot snow, […]
Radio 2 have announced today that they will be following radio one in refusing to play Robbie Williams on the basis that he is now middle aged and makes everybody else feel old. According to Chris Evans “Our target age group of over 35s are trying desperately to cling on to their lost youth but […]
British based Rockstar Games are said to be furious today as their long awaited release of Grand Theft Auto Five has been overshadowed by traditional games manufacturer Waddingtons releasing a board game with exactly the same name. The surprise release has said to have decimated advance orders with those queuing for the game moving to […]
Simon Cowell was said this morning to be “livid” regarding a surprise change to the Channel 4 schedule which will involve a screening of a man taking a dump into a bucket. It’s thought that this will be shown at the same time as every X factor episode throughout the new series, and that the […]
The Crown Prosecution Service have confirmed today that they will be dropping all charges of historic racism against the comedian Jim Davidson. A spokesman confirmed “Much of the evidence appeared to be made up of hearsay and tittle tattle so it makes any conviction completely unsound. As long as you ignore his videos or anything […]
The Crown Prosecution Service this morning admitted that they were “unsure as how best to proceed” after the catalogue of accusations against the late Sir Jimmy Saville have now extended to more recent offences from beyond the grave. “Despite being dead” we were told “it appears that Sir Jimmy is still up to his old […]
The management at Endemol were left red faced this morning as it emerged that their entire staff team had all decided to take their summer holiday at the same time, leaving the remaining housemates without food, water and far more dangerously, without attention. “It’s a terrible cock-up” Emma Willis, who apparently now presents the show […]
The United Kingdom Independence party are set to go back to basics and perform a Black and White Minstrel show in an attempt to win back lost supporters according to BBC insiders. UKIP leader and sometime multi-race crooner Nigel Farararage told us “If we look back to the 1970s, there was only one foreigner in […]
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