Former Shadow Education Secretary Tristram Hunt has announced his intention to challenge Jeremy Corbyn in a Labour leadership contest.
Diane James to “strangle a puppy a day” until Britain leaves EU
September 16, 2016 by Leave a Comment
New UKIP leader and salaried MEP Diane James has promised UKIP members that she will squeeze the life out of a new born puppy every single day until Britain invokes article 50 and then every day after that until the process is complete.
Cameron to start new life as a farmer
September 12, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Former Prime Minister David Cameron is to start a new career as a farmer, following his resignation as an MP today.
Public warned not to approach rapidly inflating Liam Fox
September 10, 2016 by Leave a Comment
The British public have been warned not to approach a rapidly expanding Liam Fox who reportedly began inflating at an alarming rate following a talk at a Conservative party dinner yesterday.
Would you pass Nigel Farage’s points based immigration system?
September 5, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Nigel Farage is very cross that Prime Minister Theresa May won’t adopt a points based immigration system. But what would Britain look like if Nigel were to award points to immigrants? Try this simple test to see if you would get in.
Post boxes to stop wearing Burkas
August 29, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Post boxes are going to have to stop wearing Burkas and start dressing like everybody else according to leaked minutes of a recent Government meeting. One Government insider told us “They don’t make any effort to fit in. They’re just all clad in red apart from the small rectangular gap at the top through […]
“Tell them it was a bike accident” Corbyn tells Branson
August 26, 2016 by 4 Comments
Sir Richard Branson is this morning still denying that he was duffed up by Jeremy Corbyn after a row about trains earlier in the week.
Prison extremists to be played Black Lace songs
August 22, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Islamic extremists in prison will be required to listen to songs by 1980s holiday dance outfit Black Lace, piped in so loud that it will drown out any attempts to exert a radicalising influence on other inmates.
Corbyn urged to stop sitting on roof of trains
August 18, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn has told critics he will carry on sitting on the roof of trains and ducking at tunnels indefinitely, even if he becomes Prime Minister and whether there are seats available or not.
Government deny strangling kittens whilst media focus on the Olympics
August 16, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Prime Minister Theresa May has strenuously denied accusations that the cabinet have been strangling kittens whilst the media focus their attention on the Olympic games.
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