Daily Mail readers are thought to be incensed following a story in the Mail that Lenny Henry is now the bookies favourite to be the next James Bond.
Sturgeon “We’ll keep having referendums until we win one”
May 2, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Scotland will continue to have referendums indefinitely until one goes in favour of independence, at which point it will stop having them and draw a line under the whole affair according to Scotland’s First Minister Nicola Sturgeon.
Royal baby photos released by media thinking it’s the 1970s and anyone cares
May 1, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Some photos of a perfectly normal baby on her first birthday are being widely publicised by the media today, due to a dark feudal lineage based on her ancestors seizing totalitarian power through a murderous rampage.
Daily Mail readers confused now Labour are racist
May 1, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Daily Mail readers have this morning demanded clarity from their newspaper following claims that the labour party are in fact the party of racial intolerance. One outraged reader said “I’ve been reading the Mail every morning since the 1960s and have dutifully followed my instructions to blame all my life’s woes on the foreign looking […]
Jeremy Hunt to go on strike
April 26, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Secretary of State for Health Jeremy Hunt is set to go on strike imminently having balloted himself earlier on today.
David Cameron’s cat 8th on Sunday Times rich list
April 24, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Prime Minister David Cameron has refused to discuss the apparent wealth of his cat as publicised today in the Sunday Times rich list arguing that it is a private matter. Speaking this morning on the Marr show Mr Cameron said “Obviously I might have helped him open the accounts. He’s a cat. Does he pay […]
Stonehenge summer solstice party to end at midnight
April 23, 2016 by 1 Comment
Revellers celebrating the summer solstice at Stonehenge this year will be expected to vacate the site by midnight, in order to make it clean and presentable for paying visitors the following day, according to the latest diktat by English Heritage. A spokesman for the charity, who are entrusted with charging people for things they already […]
Coldplay not even ill
April 21, 2016 by Leave a Comment
The band Coldplay were reportedly not even ill last night let alone on death’s door according to sources close to the band.
Queen to down 90 pints
April 20, 2016 by Leave a Comment
The Queen is to down 90 pints live on TV to celebrate her birthday on Thursday according to a statement issued by the palace. A spokesman for the Queen said “Her Majesty her the royal highness the queen will be honouring the nation by consuming one pint of lager for every year of her life. […]
Disappointment as super-injunction possibly just about Elton John’s stupid sex life
April 16, 2016 by 3 Comments
The British public have today aired their mass disappointment that according to some people on twitter the great big celebrity super-injunction that has been in the news for weeks might just be about Elton John and his stupid sex life. One person thriving on unfounded rumour said “We don’t know if it is or it […]
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