The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Progressive rock fans throughout the country have aired their disappointment today at news that front man Fish aka Derek Dick is planning to leave 1980s progressive rock band Marillion. Bass player Pete Trewavas told us the decision was regrettable but quite mutual. “He’s written some great lyrics, many learnt verbatum by men who find it […]
Wide eyed but dull managery types throughout the country have filled wine bars, chain coffee shops and hotel lobbies today to excitedly discuss the fact that one huge faceless corporation has taken over another. One be-suited middle managery person told us “I lost most of my real friends years ago when I started endlessly talking […]
Prime Minister David Cameron is likely to very nearly, almost, verging on it but then again not quite, criticise the government of Israel later on today according to political sources. Following the dramatic exit of Baroness Warsi from the cabinet it’s thought that the Premier will finally bite the bullet and mumble something incoherently into […]
American scientists have hailed a breakthrough in medical science with a drug that finally cures atheism. The drug named Omniprezole is said to be so effective that it is to be made available immediately without any further clinical trials. Politician and pro-omniprezole campaigner Sarah Palin told us “It’s a nightmare trying to start wars and […]
Residents of the Isle of Wight are making preparations for what may well be the world’s largest all night rave, which is set to be held over the August bank holiday week-end. DJ Paul Oakenfold told us “People are finding Ibiza too expensive so we need a home grown holiday venue where young people can […]
The UK Independence Party have today announced that their first annual seance is to be held later on this year. Speaking from outside a meeting held today in Glastonbury, UKIP leader Nigel Farage told us “In order to respect the fact that many of our members have ties to spiritualism, angelic reiki healing and direct […]
Festival goers have been left furious at today’s announcement from the organisers of the V festival that the live music event is to be cancelled due to unforeseen blandness. Richard Branson chairman of the Virgin group who own the festival amongst a number of other things told us “I just woke up in the middle […]
Labour’s plans to lift poor people above the breadline by working towards a living wage for all have been slammed by Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne as bad for the economy and unconducive to growth Speaking on Andrew Neil’s political chat show ‘Afternoon Bollocks’ Mr Osborne explained “It’s all very well someone going out […]
Fox News Anchorman Sean Hannity has today caused further controversy by blaming the human race for any future attack by aliens. “Any invasion is likely to be by aliens that already inhabit a number of different planets and have a far superior arsenal of weapons. And should we be attacked by an alien race wishing […]
The European Union has banned the sale of Laughing Cow cheese to Russia as part of a range of tough new sanctions aimed at making Russian President Vladimir Putin think twice about his megalomania. Known as La Vache Qui Rit in France, La vaca que rie in Spain, and up until now at least Весёлая Бурёнка (Vessiolaia Bourionka) […]
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