The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Jeremy Hunt has told today of his encouragement at the silent support of 2% of Junior Doctors who have said they won’t go on strike in protest against his reforms. Speaking to John Humphrys on the Today Programme Mr Hunt explained that Doctors were stupid and didn’t understand numbers. “However, for every 98 Doctors that […]
A racist bloke in an office is still going for it like a trooper, two full working days after the Paris shootings and showing no signs of giving it a rest, according to reports from workmates. Feeling sufficiently vindicated by recent events to continue wittering on indefinitely, Mr Daley Mayall, of ‘We sell any car’ […]
David Cameron has demanded an immediate inquiry, headed by himself, to look into how he was allowed to make complaints to himself about himself. “Something’s got to be done about it” Mr Cameron reportedly told himself in a strongly worded letter. “It’s gone too far. It started off with a harmless game of cutting off […]
Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn has found himself at the centre of controversy today following rumours that he may or may not have passed wind at some point on Remembrance Sunday. A suitably enraged Richard Littlejohn in the Daily Mail wrote “Was this the reason that Pixie Lott and Rod Stewart started laughing during the service? […]
Police and security services will be able to see the names of all visitors to the conservative party website for 12 months before their guilty little secret can finally be rubbed from the records, according to legislation passed today by Home Secretary Theresa May. One worried internet user told us “It’s an appalling invasion of […]
Australians throughout Australia are thought to have spent the day largely sitting around in their underpants drinking tinnies, following revelations that none of them are now going to be knights or dames even if they pull their fingers out and don’t spend the day sitting around in their underpants drinking tinnies. One Australian, who had […]
Rapper Snoop Dogg has denied any involvement at all in the Government’s proposed Snoopers charter. Angrily addressing a hastily arranged press conference, Mr Dogg was clearly buckling under the scrutiny when he said “For the Iast time I have not got a damn ting ta do wit dis mothafuckas” One onlooker said “Well he would […]
David Cameron and George Osborne have today promised a thorough review into the powers of the Lords, apart from the ones that they’re related to or are related to people they went to Eton with. A Downing Street spokesman said the Government would examine “how to protect the ability of elected governments, namely us, to […]
Former Prime Minister Tony Blair has today admitted that perhaps going into an illegal war on false pretences, contrary to the will of the majority of the British people, in order to impress an unintelligent American who was trying to please his dad, wasn’t one of his smartest moves but has also said that it’s […]
Multinational beverage corporation Coca Cola has today issued a statement hailing David Cameron as their ‘special little soldier’ following his decision today to rule out taxing sugary drinks. Part of the statement reads “We’re very grateful that David has seen sense and children are now able to spend all their pocket money on carbonated drinks […]
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