The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Conservative MP for Rochester Mark Reckless has announced this evening that he is to defect back to the Conservative Party, having set the record straight, ruffled the feathers of the establishment and rocked the boat. “I’m being blown from one metaphorical borderline racist tree to another like a leaf in the wind” he explained. “But […]
Television celebrity Myleen Klass has publicly hit out against Labour leader Ed Miliband over his plans to tax people who are overtly smug about their wealth, success or media attention. As Miliband sought to defend the so-called smug tax as a principled way of raising extra funding for the NHS, Klass said the levy would […]
A spokesman for radio one has confirmed on their weekly Sunday chart show that the charity all star collaboration record “feed the ducks” for which all the proceeds go to aiding ducks in Yorkshire with avian flu has today reached the top of the hit parade. As in the 1980s the single is organised by […]
Viewed as an olive branch to ease tensions between himself and other world leaders, Russia’s President Vladimir Putin has today pledged to make his invasion of Ukraine greener and more ecologically sound. Mr Putin admonished the other leaders attending the G20 in Brisbane for avoiding such a serious issue. “The rest of you are putting […]
British jihadists who travel abroad to fight will have their UK citizenship partially revoked, restricting their access to the Isle of Wight, where they will be forced to spend an indefinite period of time watching every episode of Strictly Come Dancing as part of tough new measures announced today by Prime Minister David Cameron. “It’s […]
Ernst Stavro Blofield, head of international organisation SPECTRE has been cleared of all impropriety in a report released yesterday by Fifa. Provoking a very mixed response, the report also cleared the entire organisation of any wrongdoing along with a huge man with metal teeth and another with a top hat, make up and an evil […]
The BBC have refused to confirm or deny whether they will be axing the long running television show Antiques road show after footage has emerged of presenter Hugh Skully quite clearly calling one of the exhibits brought in by a member of the public a c*nt. Unbroadcast footage shows a lady speaking to Arthur Negus […]
A European Court of Justice ruling backing Germany’s attempts to restrict unemployed migrants’ rights to welfare has been criticised for leaving UKIP supporters with nothing to talk to each other about. Whilst some UKIPers it is thought have been easily able to make the transition and start talking about other things that might interest them, […]
George Osborne has reportedly brokered a 50% discount off a ready cooked chicken in the latest of a string of discounts declared by the Chancellor for and on behalf of the British people. “It’s normally £3.50 for one of these bad boys but I proved my metal today and as my receipt will prove I […]
The British public have come together as one to thank BNP splinter group Britain First who according to their social media posts appear to have won World War One. One adoring fan told us “They’re my heroes. You won’t find them travelling and learning about new cultures because they’re too busy protecting Britain.. But they […]
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