The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Education Secretary Michael Gove has confirmed today that the removal of Baroness Morgan as chair of the education inspectorate for England is just the beginning of a new policy of sacking anyone who votes Labour and isn’t a bloke. Speaking on the Andrew Marr show this morning, the Education Secretary assured voters that in future all […]
Heir Apparent to the British throne Prince Charles has issued climate change deniers with one of his firmest rebuke yet “Stop running around like headless chickens and start taking note of the overwhelming scientific data. Unless it’s homeopathy.” Speaking at the Young Sustainability Entrepreneur awards, the apprentice King explained “All of a sudden, and with […]
Andy Coulson was not in the office on the day a reporter allegedly played him a hacked voicemail message, as he was up the Faraway tree, the ex-News of the World editor’s barrister has confirmed. Journalist Dan Evans said on Tuesday that Mr Coulson had been “excited” on hearing the message left for James Bond […]
Bernard Manning has surprised his critics by probably becoming the first ageing racist comedian to win Celebrity Big Brother. Our Big Brother correspondent explained “He started off very unpopular and initially he seemed a surprise choice of candidate. But to save his career he pressed on trying his best not to offend too many […]
The fragile recovery of the British economy is said to be in danger unless project managers and their immediate superiors can find a way to stop talking in total gibberish according to a report released this morning. The report states that if unchecked a new breed of middle management may pass their entire career without […]
Formerly left wing journalist Owen Jones has confirmed that he will be accepting a full time position with the Daily Mail and has adopted right wing knee jerk political leanings in accordance with their standard policy. Mr Jones has said he will be looking forward to “exposing the nanny state” and battling against “political correctness […]
People who’ll never earn £150,000 a year have today vented their anger at Shadow Chancellor Eddie Balls who confirmed again today that a Labour Government would raise income tax to 50% for those earning over £150,000 per year. One protester told us “I don’t earn very much now but if I ever do I don’t […]
Supreme leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea Kim Jong-un is believed to have ordered the total elimination of all uncles. The terrifying purge started straight after the execution of his own uncle Jan Sung-Taek and is said to be demonstrating the leader’s ‘decisiveness’. A spokesman from Pyonyang told us “The decision has nothing to […]
Much of the worlds population have put their differences aside today to plead for the release of teenage crooner Justin Bieber who is facing charges of abusing policemen, taking drugs and driving like a cunt. Protests throughout the western world ranged from a mass “go to bed for 8 hours followed by breakfast” to an […]
Pope Francis has heralded a much needed change in direction today as a senior Italian cleric has been charged with merely laundering millions through the Vatican bank, as opposed to instigating or attempting to cover up any sort of sexual assault. Monsignor Nunzio Scarano, who is already on trial and under house arrest on separate charges of plotting […]
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