The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Anyone expecting to arrive at Glastonbury festival with a big bag of drugs and the intention of selling them to revelers are going to have to have a license according to an announcement today from organisers. Throughout the duration of the festival anyone caught dealing without a license will be given 24 hours to apply […]
The pub trade was today lamenting the end of the 2013 series of Britains Got Talent as husbands, boyfriends and male platonic live in friends throughout the country returned home from the pub this morning . Motorists faced delays of several hours as many city centres were closed today due to the staggering hoards of […]
President of the United States Barack Obama has revealed that he spends most of his time keeping tabs on US citizens and foreigners alike through a special super powered telescope that can see as far as the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, and also through walls. Responding to accusations that US Government agents are […]
Environmentalists have been protesting outside parliament in their hundreds as the temporary ban on the process of ‘Fracking’ for gas and oil looks set to come to an end. The head of a company involved in fracking has said it is ready to press on quickly with production if a UK ban on the technique […]
Power stations will be fuelled by harnessing the wrath of local communities who want to be able to use copious amounts of electricity without actually setting eyes on a wind farm or any other form of power generation. New Government legislation has encouraged local people to protest in the most vocal terms about wind farms […]
Motorists will have to punish themselves by removing points from their own licenses and inserting cash fines into honesty boxes under the new offence of ‘driving like a cunt’. Road Safety Minister Stephen Hammond said: “Cunty drivers are a menace and their negligence puts innocent people’s lives at risk. However we’ve sacked half the traffic […]
The Queen has been urged to stop milking it with the incessant rounds of birthdays, official birthdays, jubilees and anniversaries of coronations according to an insider from the British public. “It’s just got stupid. I’m sure these things used to be once every ten years or so. But it’s got like X factor or Britain’s […]
Mr Eddie Balls, Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer and arguably number two in the ‘same shit different faces’ party has told a press conference that his pledge to stop winter fuel cash payments to old age pensioners once in power is in no way cruel or inhumane, as a new breed of old people will […]
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