The Conservative party will bring back Jim’ll Fix It on BBC1 if re-elected, according to Prime Minister Theresa May.
People unite behind more reliance on food banks and no NHS
May 1, 2017 by 1 Comment
Theresa May looks set to win the forthcoming General election due to the overwhelming popularity of more people needing food banks and her plans to completely dismantle the NHS.
Putin unsure how to screw up UK General election any more than it is
April 18, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Russian Premier Vladimir Putin is thought to be stumped as to how he might sabotage the forthcoming UK general election without inadvertently making it better, according to Kremlin sources.
Theresa May “The bible says I must take disabled people’s cars away”
April 17, 2017 by 1 Comment
Theresa May has only passed legislation to take mobility cars away from disabled people because it says so in the bible according to an interview with the God fearing Prime minister.
Independent Scotland to govern Gibraltar
April 2, 2017 by Leave a Comment
An independent Scotland could govern Gibraltar thus allowing both to remain in Europe according to Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon.
“You’re on your own now” says every single economist ever
March 29, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Every single economist and financial analyst ever has wished Britain the best of luck in it’s exit from the single market, but has ruled out sticking around to watch it happen. A spokesman for credit rating agency Standard and Poors said “I’ve been warning against a clusterfuck of a recession for years and now its […]
“Now not the time for independence vote” Theresa May tells America
March 16, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Theresa May has rejected calls for the USA to hold a referendum regarding independence from Britain today saying “now is not the time.”
“We’re going down the tube and we’re taking you with us” May tells Scotland
March 3, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Britain is driving off a cliff half-cut and has Scotland locked in the boot, Prime Minister Theresa May has told Scottish Conservatives today.
Trump to deport toddlers
January 29, 2017 by Leave a Comment
US President Donald Trump is to begin a mass deportation of toddlers following reports that statistically they shoot more people in America than Islamic terrorists.
May under fire as husband selling wheelbarrows for public to load worthless cash into
January 17, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Theresa May has been accused of foul play today following revelations that her husband Philip May has cornered the market in wheelbarrows for people to fill up with soon to be worthless currency when they need to buy a loaf of bread.
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