The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Singer Jennifer Lopez has assured human rights activists and concerned members of the public that she plans to entertain oppressive regimes far less frequently, and intends to keep private concerts for military dictatorships down to a minimum. The recent Birthday concert for President Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov of Turkmenistan who is presently ranked 6 in the Sunday […]
The entire population of Africa are set to get together and build a giant Bono by way of thanks for the singer speaking on their behalf, according to singer Bono who was speaking at the G8 summit today on behalf of the people of Africa. The speech in which the singer also announced the launch […]
Chubby comedian Johnny Vegas has surprised many on the world political stage by being voted in as Iran’s new president, replacing Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. After what was seemingly a shock endorsement by Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Khamenei, Mr Vegas has rapidly gained the popular vote after suggesting that the entire Iranian population should spend one day […]
President of the United States Barack Obama has revealed that he spends most of his time keeping tabs on US citizens and foreigners alike through a special super powered telescope that can see as far as the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, and also through walls. Responding to accusations that US Government agents are […]
David Cameron has reportedly flown to Washington to ‘tell’ on his senior ministers who have tried to speed up a referendum to pull out of Europe behind his back. Education Secretary Michael Gove has apparently received a text from the Prime Minister saying “You wait, I’m telling on you. Then you’ll be sorry” before David […]
Scientists have issued a stark warning today that the planet is continuing to rise in temperature and the only way to stop it is by everyone leaving their fridges open. The move comes as Daily CO2 readings at a US government agency lab have counted 400 parts per million for the first time. CO2 molecules are […]
Abu Qatada has surprised his critics today by agreeing to leave Britain on his own accord. He has however stipulated that Home Secretary Theresa May must come with him. In a statement read out by his solicitor this morning the hairy Lothario explained his decision. “The art of being a good guest is knowing when […]
A US invasion of the Isle of Wight became ever more imminent today as President Barack Obama warned that there may or may not be some intelligence to suggest that the pariah Island may have weapons of mass destruction. Speaking at a press conference this morning Mr Obama stated “We have varying degrees of confidence […]
Madonna is set to become legal parent to the entire country of Malawi according to Governnment sources who along with Malawi’s 15 million inhabitants are all going to be calling her “mother”. President of Malawi Joyce Banda has recalled how Madonna rattled around Malawi like a “rabid, crazy adopting machine gun” with her legal team […]
The Government were today rethinking the £12 million funeral planned for former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher after reports that she is actually alive and working in a beach bar in the Gambia. Gone it appears is her ginger hair and her steely demeanour. The new life in the sun has made her black, well built […]
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