The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
A former Costa coffee employee has said she is “heartbroken” following her dismissal from Costa coffee, a company that she loved working for so much that she had the company logo tattooed on her arm. A tearful Tracey Crapper from Burgess Hill told us “I loved everything about that job. I loved selling warm caffeinated drinks, marketed […]
The forthcoming yes no in out EU referendum will show a photo of UKIP leader Nigel Farage with a simple question “Do you trust this twat?” according to a press release today by the elections watchdog. A spokesman for the watchdog told us “We haven’t made this decision lightly. We started with ‘Yes I don’t […]
The Government are today facing calls to rapidly increase immigration in order to dilute the gene pool of Daily Mail readers, Daily Express readers and UKIPPers, which continues to show no signs of breeding with anyone else apart from other like minded Caucasians with the same newspaper reading habits, often hailing from the same village. […]
Super rich arse-hat and former Sainsbury boss Justin King told today of his fury at a 50p an hour pay rise meaning many full time workers might be able to run amok paying bills and having enough to eat willy nilly. Mr King who trousered almost £2 million in his last year working for Sainsbury […]
Goths throughout Britain who have barely cracked a smile since their invention in the 1980s may finally be able to cheer up a bit and stop sitting woefully in grave yards eating liver, according to a report highlighting plans to entertain them with the Chuckle Brothers. The leaked report details plans to replace forthcoming Sisters […]
Scotland should be able to decide what time it goes to bed at night free of diktats from Westminster, according to Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon. Speaking at the Edinburgh Television Festival, Ms Sturgeon said that Scotland’s strict bed time routine orchestrated by Westminster politicians meant that many Scots, having had by law to get […]
Britain is to trial making gun ownership legal following its resounding success in America and the many convincing arguments from republicans that this freedom to bear arms thing is actually very good idea. Prime Minister David Cameron said “You might think our cousins from over the pond are psychopathic buffoons with their insistence on keeping […]
Iain Duncan smith is a monumental cunt according to a new report released today by everyone else. Thought to be the case for some time amongst the chattering classes, the rumours have now been scientifically proved correct after a single drop of the work and Pensions Secretary’s blood was extracted and placed on litmus paper […]
Stock market traders in London, Paris and Frankfurt have slightly lowered their proposed bonus expectations as fears of a Chinese economic slowdown continue to worry state endorsed corporate gamblers worldwide. Selfishly other people have just carried on with their lives. One trader told us of the sorrow he felt at the prospect of an annual […]
Former Labour leader Neil Kinnock has described reports of him being banned from voting in the forthcoming Labour leadership contest as “a storm in a teacup”. “I don’t even care.” He confirmed. Mr Kinnock is understood to have failed a series of increasingly stringent tests designed to weed out people who might be voting to […]
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