The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The BBC have confirmed that from September Iain Duncan Smith will be appearing in a new reality TV series set to find him a Best friend Forever or BFF. In a promotional trailer for the show Mr Duncan Smith tells us: “People think that after a busy day dismantling the welfare state at a greater […]
Football fans have come together to promise the Premier league that they will never ever post goals via vine on twitter again and that they are all jolly sorry that they ever did in the first place. One sorrowful fan told us “We know what we have done is wrong and we’re all wracked […]
Members of the public with a penchant for singing Cliff Richard songs at work, whilst out walking or maybe just in the bath, are being told to get it out of their systems once and for all on the off chance that if the singer is arrested and convicted of something, then all his songs […]
Manchester United fans are said to be livid today at news that an imminent ban on tablet computers at Old Trafford may mean having to watch football for virtually the whole duration of each visit. One furious fan told us “I paid 900 odd quid for my season ticket, well my company did anyway, and […]
Russian premier Vladimir Putin has today pledged support for an international aid mission in Eastern Ukraine by donating a gargantuan metal horse Speaking on TV channel Russia Today Mr Putin said “Eastern Ukranians have endured a terrible time which is obviously nothing to do with us, but we would like to lift everyone’s spirits a […]
Former Smiths front man Morrissey has silenced critics today by offering himself up as cuisine for anyone that eats meat so as to hopefully offer a nutritious alternative to meat and thus save the life of a cow, lamb or otter. “It means I can encourage people to be herbivorous and musically whinge about being […]
Warnings on alcoholic drinks to remind people to have chasers should be mandatory according to the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Alcohol Misuse. Speaking from the house of Commons subsidised bar, group chairwoman and Conservative MP Tracey Crouch told us “With food we encourage people to have a balanced diet and consume a wide variety of […]
The Conservative Party are to stick to being led by posh white blokes with just the merest smattering of upper middle class totty for a bit of window dressing and of course to make the tea, as part of new moves announced today. Speaking on this morning’s Andrew Marr show prime Minister David Cameron explained […]
The organisers of Reading festival have today defended their decision to replace either Blink 182 or the Arctic Monkeys with former 1970s Glam Rock superstar Gary Glitter. The surprise line up change will be Glitter’s first major concert since the 1990s and will play to a crowd who have been largely deprived of old favourites […]
Scotland’s First Minister Alex Salmond has said that Scotland will keep the pound even if it means joining the United Kingdom to do it. Speaking at a packed press conference Mr Salmond explained “It is Scotland’s pound. It doesn’t belong to George Osborne, it doesn’t belong to Ed Balls. It’s ours and we are keeping […]
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