The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The Government is set to have more women to brighten the place up a bit, according to Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking on the Marr show the premier explained “We’ve been under fire for not having enough women in cabinet. And that’s obviously because we discuss politics and important men’s business. But if we’re being […]
The BBC and other television companies are facing further investigation today as news has emerged that every single celebrity, that we as normal people, look up to and aspire to, is not real and has actually been made out of plasticine by artist and former Vision On presenter Tony Hart. A remorseless and unrepentant Tony […]
Millions of public sector workers have today been for an organised walk with a spattering of recreational shouting in thanks to the Government for it’s austerity measures which have been widely seen as unequivocally improving the standard of living for one and all and making Britain great again. One teacher who was waving a ‘Hooray […]
After talks with Prime Minister David Cameron today, the members of 1980s boy band Take That have gone on record to urge public sector workers to call off tomorrow’s strike. Set to put an acceptable ageing boy band face to Government plans to curb all union activity, the middle aged crooners are seen as Cameron’s […]
Home Secretary Theresa May has today silenced critics accusing the Government of yet another cover up with the news that a new investigation will be headed by none other than animated canine martial arts themed law enforcer Hong Kong Phooey. Speaking to an unusually full house of MPs Mrs May explained “These are largely problems […]
ISIS Chief Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is said to be working on a new video after his first one released today has been almost universally panned by critics. Irish record producer and manager of bands such as Westlife and Boyzone, Louis Walsh, told us that the leader of the militant Islamist group would have work to […]
MPs are set to spend “a good day or two” overtly and theatrically pretending to look for the so far elusive abuse dossier that was on a desk and then it wasn’t, according to tough new mouth play from privileged product of the establishment and Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking with a very serious look […]
GP’s are going to have to practice Reiki healing in order to deal with a rapidly increasing workload, according to Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt. Speaking to an audience of healthcare professionals, Mr Hunt explained “Doctors are always complaining about having to see so many patients but that’s because they’re not thinking outside the box. They’re […]
The art world is said to be “vibrating with pretentiousness” today following the news that an undisclosed absolute idiot with a lot of money has bought Tracey Emin’s stupid bed for £2.2 million. One art critic told us that Tracey Emin’s stupid bed had turned the art world on its head. “It has turned the […]
Criminals throughout the country are reportedly owning up to their crimes and then committing more in order to ensure a custodial sentence where they will stand a good chance of being entertained for free by a plethora of music hall talent from the 1970s. One judge we spoke to told us “We’re getting through convictions […]
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