Theresa May looks set to win the forthcoming General election due to the overwhelming popularity of more people needing food banks and her plans to completely dismantle the NHS.
Paultons Park to admit only blonde haired blue eyed children
April 30, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Paulton’s park are to restrict access to children with blonde hair, blue eyes and high cheekbones accompanied by parents of a similar appearance unless they’re a foreign nanny.-
Nuttall “If we don’t get any seats, I’ll change our name to Pookip”
April 28, 2017 by Leave a Comment
UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has today vowed to change the party’s name to Pookip if they fail to win any seats at the forthcoming general election.
Corbyn’s daughter to market own range of fragrances
April 26, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Jeremy Corbyn has today denied any conflict of interest with his position as leader of the opposition and his recent promotion of his daughter’s new range of fragrances which came on the market this week.
Scientists discover pride of vegan lions
April 23, 2017 by 1 Comment
Scientists studying lions in Africa have stumbled upon a tribe of vegan lions that have shunned the normal carnivorous diet associated with their species and instead live solely on fruit and vegetables.
Fury as St George’s day bank holiday on a Sunday
April 23, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Prime Minister Theresa May has this morning been accused of subterfuge and deceit following mass realisation that the St George’s day bank holiday has somehow been moved to a Sunday when no-one is at work anyway,
Britain set to vote ‘Wanking Monkey’
April 19, 2017 by
Party leaders are said to be ‘upset and disappointed’ at the results of the latest polls released today which suggest that most of the British public are intending to shun all major and minor political parties at the forthcoming General election, and instead vote for a wanking monkey.
May “No TV debate because I’ll look like a shitbag”
April 19, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Prime Minister Theresa May has today ruled out participating in any TV debates before the forthcoming General Election as it might make her look like a tiny bit of a cunt.
Putin unsure how to screw up UK General election any more than it is
April 18, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Russian Premier Vladimir Putin is thought to be stumped as to how he might sabotage the forthcoming UK general election without inadvertently making it better, according to Kremlin sources.
Theresa May “The bible says I must take disabled people’s cars away”
April 17, 2017 by 1 Comment
Theresa May has only passed legislation to take mobility cars away from disabled people because it says so in the bible according to an interview with the God fearing Prime minister.
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